My mother has lived with me and my husband for 17yrs. With the last 2 months she has put a wedge with my brothers who don't live in the same state and they are lead to believe that we have been stealing from her. She talks about us very bad to my brothers and I am harassed to give them the authority to handle her income and for her not to contribute in our household for her living expenses. My mother had open her account with my name on it in 2001 when she first moved with us. My brothers are ordering me to hand over all her information and we should not expect anything from her. We always made previsions for my mom to feel as comfortable but it has been out of our cost range because we have 3 young men and 2 are in college and 1 will be leaving the house in another year. My mom has talked about me, my husband and our children as we are scum of the earth and I have messed up my life by getting pregnant at 26 and having to get married to someone that doesn't add up to her standards (rich). My brothers call me to repeat what she has told them and they don't listen to when I am telling them of all the changes and that what she is saying not true. Mind you my mother has been living with us for 17 yrs and my brothers have only visited her 4 times and lately don't acknowledge the holidays to do something nice for her. I made a point to make a big deal for her 90 birthday to have everyone come here. When they didn't even consider that it was getting to be a little much for us to have us live with us. For the last 5 years it has been nothing but phone calls and they think that is enough. When I let them know what is going on with her, they just tell me what I need to do. I work everyday to help support my family and I have a caregiver to come 4 hrs a day M-F which she liked it at first but that young lady was not very dependable and was in the middle of me and brothers mess which keep the confusion going. Now there is a new young lady who does not listen too much and doesn't talk to her much so my mom has told my brothers that I had something to do with it and told them that I am hiding something and I had to get reed of the first young lady cause she knew what was going on in my household as far as she is concerned.
In the last 6 years we have let her have the master bedroom so she could be more comfortable being she is getting older. We are doing the best that we can and I didn't see anything wrong with her contribute so we could have enough to provide for her needs and all our kids. I just don't appreciate that my brothers want to control me and my household because of my mother outburst of us taking advantage of her. I have asked for them to come and get her but no one has come but they keep calling me to give them all this information which I don't have all of it since my mother has made me responsible of her affairs the last 4 years.
This whole situation has put a strain on my marriage and my kids don't know how to approach my mom since they have heard many conversations with talking about their parents.
I really want her to be happy and if she wants to be somewhere else I have excepted that. No one seems to help with a solution with putting her in a happier situation since she feels so bad here.