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My mother is 89, lives at home, still drives, pays bills etc. Her health is basically good except for back pain from the usual sources - disc, nerves etc. She has been taking hydrocodone for 7 or 8 years. She has been careful not to abuse them and takes 6 per day spread out. She constantly complains about pain from her back and sits on ice all the time. She also has osteoporosis. She has gotten more frail and bent over this past year or so. This year she has developed a new issue. Here goes - She fell on her tailbone in February. That was painful and she had to either lay down or sit on a donut cushion. She ate dinner sitting on the toilet seat because that allowed her to sit without pain. She started talking about how she was talking to my Dad. He passed away more than 20 years ago and they had been divorced. Lots of unresolved issues between them so I thought maybe it was good that she was working thru it all. Then the "story" took a turn and she claims that he was in fact a demon and had brought other demons into her house with him. Then she started talking about how the demons were raping her. Now she complains of a burning crotch, pain in the crotch and rectal area, hot poker fire feeling in there. I googled like crazy to find an explanation for this "delusion" and have learned about the pudendal nerve which is responsible for the body's sexual feelings. There is something called pudendal neuralgia where this nerve is constantly aggravated. We have changed primary care doctors for her, been to the emergency room twice, tried chiropractor, people from her church to pray away the demons, and now have a wonderful Urogynecologist. She has a prolapsed bladder which we think is causing some of the issues. Even with all this, I cannot convince her that the demons are not responsible. That is probably my problem I know, but I am so sick of hearing about these damn demons! She is willing to go to the doctors etc. and listens to what they say but then it's like she wants it to be the demons. She gets very, very distressed over the demons. This distresses me because I hate to think of her living out her life fighting these demons. I don't even like scary movies! Is this the way it is going to be? I have read that you cannot convince people like this that their delusions are not real. It is also so embarrassing cuz it's like "How is your mother?" - me - "Oh she's being raped by demons." I feel like I need to protect her dignity.

Listed, I sent you a private message.
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listed Feb 9, 2019
Thank you!
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Well she is in a complete "state" again. The demons are back and she complains of pain. I don't see how the hydrocodone is not taking care of that. Her PCP said to find a psychologist. Her priest called and that didn't make her feel any better. She was more concerned that people in her church group were talking about her. She does not think the priest can help her! She wanted to pay a "crew" to come exorcise her house of the demons. ugh! Then I had to worry that someone would take all her money. Last night she was crying and in pain. It kills me but I'm also becoming immune to it somehow. I did find a Christian counseling group but they said she needs a geriatric Psychiatrist. So now I have sent emails to two I found online. I woke up last night thinking what if she has kidney stones that were causing the pain? None of the doctors have suggested this. It is hard to get answers out of her between the demon explanation and the physical feelings. So now I'm going to see what the psychiatrist says and call the church myself to see what they are thinking and maybe take her to urgent care to check for kidney stones if they can do it.
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Prior to my loved one having dementia, she was taking opioid pill for pain. She started having delusions. She said she woke up and there was a man in her bed. She thought the people on the tv could see her. I reported this to the doctor. Once she was off the pills the delusions stopped. The doctor said this happens in older people.
Since your mom's experience is of a religious nature ie demons, perhaps a religious ritual could be employed to counter it.
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Also she has these stories about the Holy Spirit helping her with his doctors. And "they" aren't sending enough angels to help. And "they" are fighting to get the last demon out. "They" are working on it.

I'm thinking it is Lewy Body Dementia.
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FrazzledMama Feb 7, 2019
I believe in the supernatural, and am a Christian, but I also know that there can be medical and scientific causes for delusions of this type (religious, persecutory, etc). No doubt that it is a true test of our faith when we watch our loved ones suffering like this. I definitely believe God is in control, even though I don't fully understand the hows or the whys sometimes. I'd have her referred for testing for dementia, and definitely keep praying too, for comfort, peace, answers, the right doctors, treatment, etc in the midst of this.

My mom suffers from terrible delusions also. Hers are that people are trying to kill or harm her. Some days are better than others, but always He is there, walking us through it on this sometimes long journey, and providing us with His grace along the way.
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Is it possible to have the Pastor of her church come to her home and order the demons to leave in The name of Jesus the Christ.

Then you can remind her that the demons were driven out and all she has to do is call on Jesus and he will be with her, giving her comfort and peace.

Scripture says in The name of Jesus demons will have to flee.

She can do this whenever she feels afraid and by the grace of God it will comfort her.

What a terrible thing for her to have to suffer through.
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listed Feb 5, 2019
The priest did come out one day. She did seem better after that so the next time the problem seemed really bad I suggested she call him again and she didn't want to. I agree with the demons have to flee in the name of Jesus. It should be that simple. But you are right, I need to remind her of that scripture. I will look up the appropriate verses to quote. It might make her mad at me though so I will have to hold my breath and expect push back. She will say "I know that" really irritated at me. Thanks for your empathy. It truly helps! I have been trying to say to her that it will be alright. All ok. Its all in the tone of voice right? be soothing and comforting. Ok - I'll get there. Be soothing!
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If you are interested, you can search at amazon dot com about spiritual warfare books. I would say that if the meds don't work, then you may be dealing with something else. I believe in both and that they are not the same.
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Isthisrealyreal Feb 5, 2019
Amen.
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Thank you all for your thoughtful answers. You are all wonderful and this forum has been amazing and comforting to know what others are dealing with and that it is not just an easy answer. I have learned that I am now a caregiver in addition to being a daughter. I feel overwhelmed dealing with all the parts to the whole care issue such as how to take more control over their lives, dealing with doctors and dealing with family. She has good days where she seems herself and living life and then bad days where I believe she is suffering from delirium. That is when the "demons" show up. They are still there and come at night when she is sleeping. She has not talked about them sexually abusing her lately (thank goodness cuz that was hard to take) but they are there at the foot of her bed and last night she said they sound like pigs. She was saying her rectum hurt and my brother told her to call the doctor. She has been well treated for UTI's and is now on a long term antibiotic. We had a urine culture done just a week ago and it was clear. I asked the doctor if he thought it could be another UTI this week and he said it was highly unlikely but of course we could bring her in and check it out. I have been trying to go along with the demon story even though I hate it. I let her talk about it and gave up trying to reason with her which I believe is the correct thing to do based on advice from this forum. When she is in the "delirious" state or coming out of it she sometimes flares in anger at me because she remembers how I argued about the demons at first. That hurts and shocks me but I'm learning to live with that too although the tears come (from me). This whole thing is pretty complicated. My brother lost his 31 year old son in June of last year and I have been trying to protect him from all the more stress of this. My other brother is autistic and lives with my mother. Bless his heart, he takes care of her the best he can but she makes his life miserable a lot. So that's it. My sister in law thinks I should just put my mother in a home but its not that easy is it? We would have to sell her house and find somewhere for my brother. She has little money and they basically live on his and her Social Security. The money from the house will have to last so I'm thinking the longer I put it off the more there will be when it is needed. There is no law that says they can't live there on their own right? They can do the ADL and she pays bills, drives etc. I have a call in to her PCP and will discuss testing for dementia and try to get help there. I'm sorry about this long post, I'm just trying to lay it all out and think it through. One other thing - she had some good days lately once we figured out the UTI and I call every day but I did not call for three days (I kinda took a break) and then she had this episode. Could that have anything to do with it? It might be that someone has to touch base with reality with her. I also read that dehydration can cause delirium and that they need to sit up in a chair during the day too so I encouraged that once I heard that she was in a "state" again.
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I am kind of suprised everyone is just labeling it delusions. I wanted you to research this on your own to come up with your own perspective which is why I gave you the names.

Many people who were sexually assaulted as a child or by a close friend or a family member fall back on this folklore as a means to deal with what happened. In my readings, the easiest way to stop it is to name the abuser.

Religious themes, paranormal and scientific explainations are my preferred reading material. It just kind of intrigues me.
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Everyone had given good advice and suggestions. My suggestion is that you try to ensure your mom feels safe. We know her delusions aren't real but she doesn't and if she thinks she is being harassed by demons who are hurting her that can be very terrifying.

My dad's delusions centered around a shadowy government conspiracy that was out to get him because he knew too much. I would always tell him that I would never let anything happen to him, that he was always safe because he wasn't alone--he had me. I would always "take care of it." This gave my father peace.

Without participating in her delusion, make sure your mom feels safe and knows that she's not alone in this.
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I forgot to mention, you should google sleep paralysis...it should give you alot more answers. What she is dreaming about is common.
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I agree with what others have said about talking to her doctor about medication side effects and checking for UTI. You might also ask her primary doc if he thinks she might need a referral to a neurologist or geriatric psychiatrist (or both). If the delusions and hallucinations are new and the other causes are ruled out, she could be developing dementia. There are medications they can give that can help her with the delusions and anxiety, depending on the cause.
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tacy gives good advice. We try to suggest that caregivers validate the delusions of our loved ones rather than trying to convince them what they are claiming to see or hear doesn’t exist. Your mom should also see her doctor if she hasn’t been in a while and be tested for urinary tract infection since she has a compromised bladder. UTIs can cause all sorts of behavioral issues. Also, I agree that 6 oxycodone pills are at the top end of a borderline high dose. Her doctor should also be made aware of this. And perhaps since she is taking these, she should not be driving. You may also want to have her evaluated for Alzheimer’s. That knowledge might make the future a bit easier for you.
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The demon is called an incubus if male, succubus if female. For her mental peace...i would try the following. If your mom goes to a christian church at night, say the deliverance prayer with her. If Catholic buy a Virgin Mary candle, white, and say Hail Mary. I could give you the pagan steps but someone would get upset.

Thomas Aquinas actually believed in these demons. Me, not so much, 6 hyrocodone is alot. Talk to the pharmacist about med side effects.
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