Thank you everyone for the helpful answers. I am working on moving her to a better home closer to me so I can visit more than once a week. It all happened so fast that we had little choice of nursing homes. Thank you!
Curious, where is brother? Since he threaten to burn down the house, is he now in a facility? Is the house his or Moms? I ask because if hers, evict him so she can have her caregivers back and be in her own home. Who placed her in a NH.
Unfortunately she co-owns house with my brother, who treats it as if he is the sole owner. He was cruel to her & I tried to get Mom to agree to make him sell the house so she could use the $$ to live somewhere nice, but she won’t do that. Brother refuses all treatment for addiction or anger management. The day Mom left he was wrecking things in the house & lighting things on fire in the driveway. Adult protective services found her a bed in a home because it was too dangerous for her or the caregivers to stay there. The police came & told brother if they were called again they’d arrest him. My poor Mom had to witness all this.
Countrymouse is right - assuming she is "with it" of course she wants to know what is happening and what next steps are. Can you help her with that information?
Maybe helping her establish a routine would ground her & help her feel control. I went through the tv channels (often) for my mother, to write down when her fav shows were on. Get to know the names of all the aides who work with mom. I took my mother to the dining room & met her table-mates, also learned the shower schedule, (to make sure she got hers). She may like to have her hair done at the salon, help her learn the schedule & fees for salon. Encourage her to attend the activities that she likes (chart is posted near nurses desk). Maybe call her each day, to encourage. Take her outside if weather permits. Those ideas worked for me when my mother was temporarily in rehab due to broken pelvis. Hope all goes well.
Er - well in that case, she has rather more pressing matters on her mind than merely being safe in a nursing home, don't you think?
Assuming that your mother is mentally "with it", I would say that nothing is more frightening than not knowing what is happening. Are any authorities such as the police or APS involved? Perhaps you could ask someone to come and give her an official situation report with a view to reassuring her as far as possible.
Let her have time to adjust. You don't mention how long she's been there but there is always a period of adjustment that depends upon her health, her mental status, her abilities and so forth.
Some folks want to visit their loved one everyday to help with the adjustment process, some don't visit much in the beginning in order to give their loved one time to adjust. Again, it depends on how your mom is. However, if you'd like to visit everyday be careful with that because your mom will come to depend on you being there everyday so if there will be days in the future when you can't make it that will be difficult on her.
When our parents go into a nursing home, our caregiving doesn't stop, it just gets different. So there's rarely the feeling of, "Whew! She's situated now. I can rest and relax." Unfortunately it doesn't usually work that way.
I used to send my dad cards when he went into a nursing home. I visited too of course but I would time the cards to arrive on a day when I wouldn't be there. He enjoyed that.
Assuming that your mother is mentally "with it", I would say that nothing is more frightening than not knowing what is happening. Are any authorities such as the police or APS involved? Perhaps you could ask someone to come and give her an official situation report with a view to reassuring her as far as possible.
What's the plan for next steps?
Some folks want to visit their loved one everyday to help with the adjustment process, some don't visit much in the beginning in order to give their loved one time to adjust. Again, it depends on how your mom is. However, if you'd like to visit everyday be careful with that because your mom will come to depend on you being there everyday so if there will be days in the future when you can't make it that will be difficult on her.
When our parents go into a nursing home, our caregiving doesn't stop, it just gets different. So there's rarely the feeling of, "Whew! She's situated now. I can rest and relax." Unfortunately it doesn't usually work that way.
I used to send my dad cards when he went into a nursing home. I visited too of course but I would time the cards to arrive on a day when I wouldn't be there. He enjoyed that.