He's rude in general and comments on women's bodies all the time. Things like, she's fat, a woman isn't supposed to be fat. If she lost weight she would look better. He seems stuck in the past as well. Every time he hears titles like Dr, lawyer, judge he automatically thinks it's a man. I know in his time positions of power were held by men but he seems to be unable to fathom that women can and do these jobs. He also makes inappropriate sexual comments all day, every day.
He yells at me constantly. He's told me I'm wrong about everything and the way I'm living my life is wrong and that I'm screwing up my life. This morning he basically said the sooner you just accept that I'm always right the better off you'll be. I can't take it anymore. I'm ready to start researching ALFs. Help!
Start looking into Assisted Living Facilities *WITH MEMORY CARE* for grandpa. Then he can pay others to listen to all of his rantings & ravings and also have a group of codgers his own age to share his opinions with. The bottom line is, he will stop offending YOU and freeing you up to live your own life, which is how it should be. You can go visit him any time you like. And leave when the going gets rough.
Good luck!
I called him out on a horrible comment he made and he accused me of being mentally ill. All because I told him his comments make be feel very uncomfortable. He was making sexist comments about the weather lady on local news.
Dad does not have dementia, he is just a misogynistic jerk. He has an incredibly high opinion of himself and as a former high school teacher feels he is the expert on any subject.
Luckily he does respect my sister in law, who is a physician specialist, but she limits her contact with him. He lives in a suite in my brother and sil's home. I worry about my young nieces and nephew hearing the garbage that comes out of his mouth. My own daughter who is in her early 20's limits contact with him, as does my son, who is tired of the crap.
Dad is racist as well.
Whiteroses, why are you living in the same home as him? If he is in your home, boot him to the curb. You may find he needs more care than ALF can provide. If you are living in his home, perhaps at your family's behest, move out.
Definitely start the search. Does he have some level of dementia or is this just 'the way he is'. Sadly, as we age, we often just become 'more' the way we are.
He's making you miserable and you don't have to take it.
He's LUCKY nobody has slapped him for inappropriate comments. Everyone is on edge these days....somebody I do not know makes sexual jokes around me--or about me or my appearance? I'm so stressed out I think I'd punch them.
All that aside--why do you have 'ownership' of Grandpa? Did you step up b/c you wanted to help or did he land in your lap due to other family saying they wouldn't take him in?
He sounds totally toxic and narcissistic to boot. Good Luck with finding other living arrangements for him.
(BTW, you are not alone. A LOT of people here have similar family dynamics).
He just sort of dropped into my lap because no one else was willing to deal with him anymore. He continued to drive until March of this year when his car was totalled due to an accident which I believe was his fault though he swears it wasn't. He hit the other driver in her door. Tell me how that wasn't his fault and how he got a lawyer to take his case?! I'm just glad he's not driving anymore and I'm sure he's not going to pass another driver's test.
Anyway, yeah I'm researching places today because I just can't deal with him anymore. I refuse to. He may have dementia I deserve a life free from verbal abuse and having to listen to derogatory comments about women in general.
Sometimes I'm ready to just walk out and leave him here to fend for himself. He's also super clingy. I can't even go run errands without him blowing up my phone demanding to know where I am and when I'll be home. Ugh.