It's soon anyway, When I had my mom committed to the geriatric psych ward she was put in a Dementia home. She was OK there although the locks bugged me until some schizo grabbed my arm and pulled it. A CNA was there and she yelled at him and he shuffled away meekly. Had she not been there my reaction would have been to hit, kick or push his nose whatever it was they taught me in self-defense in college 20 years ago. I went to see my mom then the social worker. They kept telling me this man was harmless and I said my arm says otherwise. One woman had the gall to say "it's not like he followed you or anything" that is exactly what he did. I would have liked to see him put away. They kept trying to explain away his behavior as dementia and not knowing what he was doing. They said it was repetitive behavior and he was harmless. I said if a homeless guy did that he may not know what he is doing but he would get a night in jail then be sent to the psych ward. They said nothing had ever happened. I was picturing a large 60 year old schizophrenic walking into my mom's room. So I took her out and put her in a normal nursing home, a sister facility to the first place which does not have an Alzheimers unit. She seemed happier in the Alzheimer's place except she didn't like the "retards" 80 year olds are not PC. However now there are no what I would call mental patients and she is crying all the time.
I have no idea what to do, I can't keep moving her every 90 days. I'm trying to get her opinion but I am not sure what she says when I ask her where she was happier. Now that I have to plop down her social security check I want to make the right choice. I have a care meeting with them on Wed. I also called the Alzheimers association and they have a list of facilities. The one near me came up first of course as well as one 10 miles away that sounds nice on the website. However, as I suspected both have mental patients. I say this more or less being a mental patient myself but I am not schizophrenic. The lady at the Alzheimers Association seemed to think that the mental patients were kept separately this guy was not. Well he was in that he never was in group activities and seemed to shuffle on his own up stairs.
Oh yes somewhere between UCLA (7.2), psych (7.8-7.16) the Alz home (7.16-8.30) an the regular home (8.31-current) Aricept fell through the cracks and she was put back on it last week. I don't know if getting bits of her memory back is making her sadder.
My question is now that I or she is paying how do I choose. I have no idea. I really need her for this. However, if she could decide she wouldn't be there. That is the problem. I've never made decision on my own in 45 years. She picked my car out. I couldn't find one I liked so she did.