Both my grandmother and mother are depending on temporary home health aides these days. Whenever I call to say 'hi', I sometimes have been asking especially my grandmother, who was recently advised by her doctors to have heart surgery, what she wants to do. I'd say of course it's her decision and if she is going through with it, is she planning ahead for a big decision like that; such as long-term care. Even though it's by phone, I could practically feel her shrugging her shoulders and her usual hemming and hawing about it. It drives me crazy, but I said gently as possible that I understood it was scary because it was such a big decision to make. And it is. But what drives me crazy is she and my mother keep saying there is nothing to plan, when it comes to any surgeries and follow up care. And while my mother is gung ho for some upcoming surgeries for her neck and back (recently the hip was done), it looks as if my grandmother is feeling the opposite and is not going to let them operate on her heart. I honestly respect both of their decisions, but the non-planning of anything makes me feel as if it's only a matter of time I would be forced to put out another 'fire' of theirs; I have had to deal with both of theirs. I know I should not get too involved in any of their issues, but I must ask what I can do for anymore of them sure to come up in the future? Because I can't take much more of this 'going along with the times' attitude (as my grandmother is always saying) and I don't have POA over either one (nor do I want to have it). However, I can see they set it up so I wouldn't, because they can pretty much guess that my way would eventually be a nursing home for them. Well, if one doesn't plan the major things in their life to avoid what they wouldn't want to do, is it fair to ask me to give up my life? So my question is, because I don't have POA, what options would they have if another emergency arrives where they can no longer even think about taking care of themselves? (Both currently live alone). Also, what if they don't have the financial ability to have long-term care? Would Medicare cover all of that daily care? They might not care about being blindsided, but I learned my lesson to plan ahead in order to avoid any calamities for myself.