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I'm 19 years old and 32 weeks pregnant, my mom has been the absolute best. She always has been but I can't help but feel like becoming a mom is making me afraid to lose mine. I used to cry myself to sleep as a kid because I would remember that one day I'm going to wake up and not have a mother...she can't help me with my problems or rub my back when I'm cramping. I don't know how I'll make it in this world without her. I want to find a way to keep her alive forever.

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Happyface, congratulations on the little boy coming your way! What a blessing is in store for you! When I was a new mom a mother whose children were grown told me “the days last forever but the years go very quickly” It’s so true, so enjoy the time!
And speaking as a daughter who’s lost her mother, there’s no such thing as preparing for that. God willing this will be many years away for you so I hope you commit to loving life with the presence of your mom and accept that there’s no preparation you can do to be ready for the future in this. Live in today and love it fully!
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Reply to Daughterof1930
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You try to think about it as much as possible to prepare yourself but it might be making things worse...

Mmmm. You think it might?

Okay. You don't think you can do it.

I hate to break this to you. When it happens, you won't have a choice.

But when it happens, you will probably be in your fifties, your child will be grown, and - if you find a formula that works, here - your grandchild will be growing up secure and accepting of the love that surrounds her.

You've tickled me again, you know - when I was ten, I cried myself to sleep because I did not know how I would ever be clever enough to pass my high school exams. It seemed an absolute impossibility to know all you had to learn.

It is called Getting Waaaaaaaaaaay Ahead Of Yourself.

Talk to your midwife about relaxation techniques. Whether or not you share with her why you need them is entirely optional.

Big hugs and cute tiny garments to you. Keep in touch and let us know how you're doing.
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Reply to Countrymouse
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I find that this is the closest me and my mom have ever been and I love it but i start thinking bout how I'm going to have to say goodbye one day and I don't think I can do it. I try to think about it as much as possible to prepare myself but it might be making things worse in my head. I don't really like talking to others about how I'm feeling because it makes me feel weak and out of control of my own mind body and life. Idk I'm weird i guess.
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Reply to Happyface19
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Countrymouse,
I did have lots of counseling as a kid going through depression but that's another story. I'm stressed tryna get everything perfect for the baby (it is a boy) I'm still working and I try to get as much fresh air as possible. If I'm so glad I found this page though. You guys don't understand how much you all have helped me so thanks
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Reply to Happyface19
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Happy face,
You're so young now and all your life, this far, has been under the love, comfort and protect of your Mom. So yes, she's your everything!

I don't know if your married yet, but as we go through life with a spouse, our focus changes. We come to build our lives around our husband and children. They become your everything. And you don't feel like you and your Mom are one person anymore, so to speak.

You don't have to accept your Mom's death right now, she's here! So no more stinkin' thinkin' !

Oh, and if you think you love your Mom, wait until that baby is born!

Relax and enjoy your life. Do you Know if you're having a boy or girl? Let us know!
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Reply to Pepsee
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I remember crying the second time I held my firstborn, because it washed over me that someday she would bury me...and that one day I would have to bury my mother.

As CM says, pregnancy does strange things to your hormones which in turn do strange things to your mind.

DO talk to your midwife about this. ((((hugs))))))
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Reply to BarbBrooklyn
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The third trimester of pregnancy is a strange world. It is astonishing what the mind turns to.

Although, at now 54, I laugh at myself, I do empathise with your childhood memory of crying at the thought of losing your mother. I had similar terrors of both my parents being in a car crash. I'm not at all sure that we both ought not to have been referred to child psychologists - torturing yourself in this way can't be a sign of a well-adjusted kid, now can it? - but it's a bit late to worry about that.

How are you keeping yourself healthy at this point? Are you getting fresh air, exercise, looking forward to the baby? Maybe it would be a good idea to talk to your midwife and ask about techniques for relaxation - mindfulness, meditation, breathing, appropriate exercise. What you're experiencing is anxiety, and there are ways to get it under control.

P.S. God willing, your mother is dreaming of seeing her grandchild graduate :)
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Reply to Countrymouse
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