My mom, whom is 72 and has dementia...not too bad, but bad enough that I do almost everything for her. She is able to bathe herself and put her clothes on.
We have been really sensitive lately. To boot it off, 2 cousins passed in the same day...
I just want to step away....We had a chat yesterday after we blew up with each other and apologized again last night before bed.
I just feel overwhelmed. I’m going to counseling, I don’t want to be hateful or short...just as she doesn’t either. I feel helpless, yet I know I’m doing the best I know how.

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Caring for someone with dementia is draining. Of course, you don't want to be hateful or short. But it does wear you down and if you are not getting enough time for yourself this will happen more and more.

One thing to consider is how you are dealing with her as a dementia patient, as opposed to your mom. Meaning, have you come to terms with the fact that she can't do certain things, or remember, or act appropriately, etc.? If not, perhaps that could be adding to your feelings? Just guessing here, no offense meant.

Please get some help from someone to either help with mom or help with household chores so that you are freed up at least a little bit. If someone did the cooking and cleaning, you might feel a huge burden lifted off your shoulders.

Good luck.
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Wanting to step away is a common feeling among caregivers. It sounds like a fantasy but it needs to become a reality from time to time.

I am glad that you recognize that you need rest. Too often caregivers say to themselves that we are fine! Or feel that, it’s our job, and say that we don’t have time to rest. Please make it a priority to rest.

There is no way that you are a hateful person. You wouldn’t be on this forum if you were. It’s obvious that you care.
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All you can do is your best. If that isn't good enough, then it's time to be looking at other options, like hiring outside help(with moms money)or looking into placing her in the appropriate facility.
If mom doesn't have the money, then she can apply for Medicaid. You must take care of yourself too, if you want to continue caring for your mom in whatever capacity you decide is best for you. I wish you the very best.
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The fact that you are blowing up, just want to step away to grieve your losses and not have your decissions questioned? That sounds to me like you're in burn-out territory.

Can mom afford some in- home caregivers? Does she qualify for Medicaid?

Are Adult Day Cares starting to re-open in your area?

Caring for a person with dementia is terribly wearing. You need more down time so you don't burnout completely.
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