I have 2 stepchildren 45 and 55 years old. Their mother did a good job of brainwashing them into thinking their father never gave them enough. My husband was a full time pastor all his life. Daughter, also a minister hasn't spoken to his father in 12 years because we wouldnt give her family piano. Son wasn't around for years until found out his father has Alzheimer's. My husband has sessions of terror thinking something happened to children. I called his son last night. Who immediately attacked me saying to put his father in nursing home. Stupid enough to think Medicare pays for it. I want to just pretend they don't exist. I know only reason son in contact at all is he thinks hes 'going to get what I have. Will never happen. I feel guilty. How can I help my husband understand or just steer him away from these 2 ungrateful brats. My husband is afraid to be alone with his son so I haved to stay when he visits on the rare occasions he does. For two weeks my husband has been crying for his daughter who literally will have nothing to do with us. Thankfully he doesn't remember grandchildren, he hasn't been allowed to see. It's always been about money with them. We were bad people when couldn't afford to give them everything they wanted. My husband was abused physically and mentally by first wife,
Now I'm suffering for it. Please help
Not much you can do if kids don't want to reach out and say hello. It's sad, I have friends who had similar issues..
Or as another posted keep a safe distance when they do come out to visit, but stay close enough to hubby. If you have any photos, show them to hubby, and say do you remember where this picture was taken? Go through your old photos of the two of you together, and see what he remembers..
No easy answer here. You should be able to call your stepchildren and say that their father needs them. Unfortunately, not that simple. I wish there was something I could say to help. All I can say is I am sorry because I am sure he is concerned about his kids. You obviously love your husband and want him to be at peace. I hope it works out.
Too bad families can’t patch up messes before dying but it doesn’t always work that way.
A nightmare, huh? Geeeeez!
Hopefully your will says what is husbands is yours. Children usually don't get mentioned in a will when there's a wife. Maybe it might say, upon my wifes death, so and so will go to my son/daughter. I love it that children feel entitled. That they deserve what parents worked for. If I had kids like that they would be left nothing.
A family friend of ours was on the outs with her son and stated in her will that everything be left to her grandchild (her son’s daughter). The son was completely cut out.
I honestly wouldn't try the impersonation thing - too many ways for it to go horribly wrong, for one thing, and become terrifyingly confusing for him; but even more to the point he'll be asking for the kids again twenty minutes later.
I am very sorry for his suffering and for your having to witness it.
This would be the kindest way to comfort your husband, I would never call either of them again, regardless if your husband wants to talk to them or not. You can say you left a message and he will call back, but leave a message at the local grocery store.
I know my inlaws will try to take everything that my husband and I have, they are in for a surprise but that doesn't mean it won't be excruciating to go through.
Find those 2 lovely people and help him say goodbye to his kids.
Daughter is a MINISTER? What a stellar example she must be for her "flock".
If you need help in "divorcing" these two--seek counseling with that in mind.
Yep, all over a stinkin piano too! Crazy, huh?
All I can say is to concentrate on your husband. He needs you. If he is a pastor, then you and he have to place this in God’s hands.
If talking hasn’t settled things and 12 years have gone by, let it go. If the son only has limited contact then that is all it will be. Why is your husband afraid of his son?