I am 63...have always lived life making my parents happy at the expense of my own needs and goals which if it called for real effort on my part and less attention to them I became the bad daughter. No matter how caring I was it was never enough. This has been this way since I was around 12. Now, my parents are 83 years old, they have their health problems but they are still quite independent. My children all live away from me now and I am trying to finally start living some kind of life. I am always there for them if they need me. But....the constant fault finding, being made to feel guilty, so you love your goals more than us, constant comparisons to their friends who really love them like true family should...is driving me to not want to be around them unless there is a REAL need. When the effort to make me feel guilty to motivate me to do what they want happens, I litterally shut down mentally and I feel dead inside and cannot make myself care. I feel like an awful person but feel unable to care. By the way...there is never any talking about it with them, I am just cut off with....I don't want to argue with you....by the way, my husband and I also care for his 89 year old mom with no assistance from his siblings. I guess I am so burned out with the guilttrips during my life that I have given up. I just want to squeeze some semblance of a life for myself before I die.