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My good friend has recently confided in me that her relatively young (72 yr old) mom has dementia. Wondering what kind of support is most needed by daughters in the sandwich generation. Any ideas how to best comfort my friend?

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As the caregiver for my 84 year-old parents (including my mother who has dementia), I am touched that you came to a forum to ask how you can support your friend in the difficult journey she is facing. Caring for a loved one who is not only fading away from memory loss but also undergoing difficult behavior changes is heartbreaking and can become overwhelming as the disease progresses. In my case, the challenges of caring for two dependent parents is emotionally and sometimes physically overwhelming. It's very isolating. One way you can help your friend is to always let her know how important her well-being is to you and to ask her how you can best support her. Sometimes it may be just a shoulder to cry on followed by a loving hug. In later stages, you may be able to help by doing errands or other things for her. Caregivers are often so focused on the needs of the person(s) they care for that they neglect taking care of their own needs and matters Some things on what may become an increasingly lengthy personal "to do" list might be things you can do. You can even offer to do little things like take her car to be washed, get an oil change, etc. Bless you for being such a loving friend!
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She's so fortunate to have a caring friend. For many caregivers, friends can fall off the radar so just hanging in there for her will be the best gift to her. She'll need time out to decompress. As she goes along, you may be able to help by researching solutions to problems - housekeeping service or online groceries.
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I am so glad that this answer came. I was at a loss to respond to this, and I suspect others of us were too. Best wishes to you, your friend, and your friend's mother.
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Thank you for reaching out, your friend is very lucky to have you looking out for her. Being a caregiver for anyone is an important job but for someone with memory loss you are not only their caregiver but at times their voice. When looking at ways to comfort your friend, I would encourage you to help her with her own self care. Is there something she enjoys doing for herself? Can you go with her? Can you step in as the caregiver while she takes a break for a few hours? It's a reminder for caregivers to focus on self care, not out of selfishness, but rather a way to ensure strength and stamina to be the caregiver they want to be.
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