Dianne Stephens
Senior Living Advisor, APFM
As a Senior Living Advisor with A Place for Mom, Dianne has 10+ years of experience helping seniors and their families find housing. Diane offers her expertise with questions about care type, quality of care, and levels of care and helps guide families through the process of transitioning into senior living.
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Question
I am going to look at two facilities this Saturday for my mom. I’m slightly nervous. Any suggestions or advice...
Hi. I think you may find this article helpful:... Hi. I think you may find this article helpful: https://www.agingcare.com/articles/choosing-a-long-term-care-facility-tips-from-a-certified-nursing-assistant-436396.htm
Your family is very lucky to have you advocating for them! see more
Your family is very lucky to have you advocating for them! see more
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Looking for a facility in Orange County California. Any recommendations?
A senior living advisor, local to Orange County, may be able to help you.
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I want to know if its normal for a 92 year old with dementia to sleep most of the day and night?
Hi susanlojacono! Many aging seniors do have increased sleep. There can be a variety of reasons for this: health issues, boredom, or... Hi susanlojacono! Many aging seniors do have increased sleep. There can be a variety of reasons for this: health issues, boredom, or need for rest. I would encourage you to check out what options may be available in your area for increased socialization and recreation for your loved one. A senior living advisor may be able to help you determine what resources are available in your area. see more
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My aunt is planning to move here to help with grandmother. My cousins are making a stink about her moving. Any...
Hi evermore99! Your grandmother is lucky to have you, wow! You have your plate full. You may want to reach out to a senior living... Hi evermore99! Your grandmother is lucky to have you, wow! You have your plate full. You may want to reach out to a senior living advisor, they may have some local resources for you and your family that may be helpful now or in the near future, especially if your cousins talk your Aunt out of moving. Caregiver stress is real! Take care of yourself, you deserve it! see more
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Moms needs are increasing and brothers are not stepping up to the plate. Any advice?
Hi freqflyer! First off let me commend you on embarking on one of the toughest jobs out there. Caregiver stress is real! I would... Hi freqflyer!
First off let me commend you on embarking on one of the toughest jobs out there. Caregiver stress is real! I would encourage you to reach out to a senior living advisor, they will be located in your area and familiar with local resources that may be available to you. Hang in there, you are on the right track seeking advice and information. see more
First off let me commend you on embarking on one of the toughest jobs out there. Caregiver stress is real! I would encourage you to reach out to a senior living advisor, they will be located in your area and familiar with local resources that may be available to you. Hang in there, you are on the right track seeking advice and information. see more
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Any advice on depression in my 75-year-old mother?
Hi ajejlet! Thank you for reaching out for support. I think you may find this article helpful: ... Hi ajejlet!
Thank you for reaching out for support.
I think you may find this article helpful: https://www.agingcare.com/articles/elderly-depression-warning-signs-to-look-for-110498.htm see more
Thank you for reaching out for support.
I think you may find this article helpful: https://www.agingcare.com/articles/elderly-depression-warning-signs-to-look-for-110498.htm see more
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How to tell a spouse (husband) it is time to go to assisted living/memory care?
Hi LexiPexi! You might find this article helpful:... Hi LexiPexi!
You might find this article helpful: https://www.agingcare.com/articles/how-to-talk-to-parents-about-assisted-living-153013.htm
A Senior Living Advisor at A Place for Mom are also helpful resources to explore what services (in & out of the home) you may qualify for. Their service is free for families as they are reimbursed by communities across the country. They will get you connected with an advisor in your area who can go over what resources may be available now or in the future.
Your husband is lucky to have you! Don't forget to take care of yourself as well, caregiver stress is a real thing! see more
You might find this article helpful: https://www.agingcare.com/articles/how-to-talk-to-parents-about-assisted-living-153013.htm
A Senior Living Advisor at A Place for Mom are also helpful resources to explore what services (in & out of the home) you may qualify for. Their service is free for families as they are reimbursed by communities across the country. They will get you connected with an advisor in your area who can go over what resources may be available now or in the future.
Your husband is lucky to have you! Don't forget to take care of yourself as well, caregiver stress is a real thing! see more
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How do I help my dad with dementia grieve?
Hi debby319! First of all let me extend our condolences for your loss. You are a grieving daughter as well as a primary caregiver for your... Hi debby319!
First of all let me extend our condolences for your loss. You are a grieving daughter as well as a primary caregiver for your dad. To be honest, it sounds like you may need a little time for yourself to recharge as well as grieve. Have you considered a respite stay for your dad? Many assisted livings in the area who are trained for someone with memory loss offer short term stays (even a week or two) where they can take over the primary caregiver role and allow you to be the daughter again, a role it sounds like you haven't had for awhile, outside of caregiving.
Please be sure and take some time for yourself. Caregiving can be easier with a little extra rest and 'you' time.
I hope you find this helpful. see more
First of all let me extend our condolences for your loss. You are a grieving daughter as well as a primary caregiver for your dad. To be honest, it sounds like you may need a little time for yourself to recharge as well as grieve. Have you considered a respite stay for your dad? Many assisted livings in the area who are trained for someone with memory loss offer short term stays (even a week or two) where they can take over the primary caregiver role and allow you to be the daughter again, a role it sounds like you haven't had for awhile, outside of caregiving.
Please be sure and take some time for yourself. Caregiving can be easier with a little extra rest and 'you' time.
I hope you find this helpful. see more
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How to convince (or deceive!) my mother who is in early stages of dementia to get a diagnosis so we can begin...
Hi Weeroo. I am sorry you have been facing some roadblocks in your effort to help your mom. Do you currently have a Power of Attorney for... Hi Weeroo.
I am sorry you have been facing some roadblocks in your effort to help your mom. Do you currently have a Power of Attorney for her? If not, contacting a local elder law attorney may be helpful.
I hope you find this information helpful. see more
I am sorry you have been facing some roadblocks in your effort to help your mom. Do you currently have a Power of Attorney for her? If not, contacting a local elder law attorney may be helpful.
I hope you find this information helpful. see more
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What is my ethical/moral responsibility to to my 92-year-old mother?
Hi Nancymc! I am sorry you are facing this without much support from your family, your mom is lucky to have you. Might I suggest a quick... Hi Nancymc!
I am sorry you are facing this without much support from your family, your mom is lucky to have you.
Might I suggest a quick call to an advisor at A Place for Mom. The advisors there are local to your area and are often a wealth of information and resources that may be available to your family.
Good luck on your journey! see more
I am sorry you are facing this without much support from your family, your mom is lucky to have you.
Might I suggest a quick call to an advisor at A Place for Mom. The advisors there are local to your area and are often a wealth of information and resources that may be available to your family.
Good luck on your journey! see more
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Comfort in a hospice bed; any insight?
Hi trek1459! Does your hospice provider offer a pressure/air mattress that alternate pressure and air throughout the mattress at different... Hi trek1459!
Does your hospice provider offer a pressure/air mattress that alternate pressure and air throughout the mattress at different times? Just a suggestion. We commend you for enlisting hospice for comfort for your dad. He is lucky to have you. see more
Does your hospice provider offer a pressure/air mattress that alternate pressure and air throughout the mattress at different times? Just a suggestion. We commend you for enlisting hospice for comfort for your dad. He is lucky to have you. see more
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Breaking the news to Mom about assisted living...
Hi PeterS! First let me commend you for seeking the best options for your mom, and from afar no less! She, and the rest of your family,... Hi PeterS!
First let me commend you for seeking the best options for your mom, and from afar no less! She, and the rest of your family, are very lucky to have you.
I think you may find this link helpful, since you have already made a decision for placement: https://www.agingcare.com/articles/checklist-for-caregivers-finding-assisted-living-427464.htm
Again, I commend you for doing the hard work.
Good luck on this journey! see more
First let me commend you for seeking the best options for your mom, and from afar no less! She, and the rest of your family, are very lucky to have you.
I think you may find this link helpful, since you have already made a decision for placement: https://www.agingcare.com/articles/checklist-for-caregivers-finding-assisted-living-427464.htm
Again, I commend you for doing the hard work.
Good luck on this journey! see more
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My mom is caring for her mom (she lives with her) and is experiencing verbal abuse from her mom. How can I sup...
Hi ELee43 - Let me begin by saying your mother is very lucky to have you and your grandmother lucky to have your mom, it sounds... Hi ELee43 - Let me begin by saying your mother is very lucky to have you and your grandmother lucky to have your mom, it sounds like a family of strong and caring women! Caregiving in and of itself is a tough job and can become a full time family affair, taking care of each person. Consider respite care for both your grandmother and a break for your mom, and your entire family. see more
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Tired of trying to do this by ourselves.
Hi Nicole0807, the holidays are a stressful time for many reasons, it's difficult when family members are applying pressure to one... Hi Nicole0807, the holidays are a stressful time for many reasons, it's difficult when family members are applying pressure to one another. Hiring a private duty aide for a few hours for the holiday may help take some of the stress of you and your husband for her personal care needs and allow you all to spend some quality time together without having to worry about her personal care needs. A home care agency may have suggestions on how to assist her up the stairs for the visit. see more
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Should I try to tell Mom if she keeps being mean to me I will have to put her in a home?
Hi Cateyes, I am sorry to hear you are going through this with your mom. When someone is experiencing memory loss & may feel as... Hi Cateyes, I am sorry to hear you are going through this with your mom. When someone is experiencing memory loss & may feel as they are losing control of their situation or no longer a key decision-maker, they begin to experience agitation and frustration. Each person exhibits these feelings different, some seniors experience extreme bouts of depression and sadness, a grieving of sorts; while others exhibit this through anger and lashing out to those close to them. Your mom may also be struggling with the role reversal, her daughter is now her caregiver. Your mom is lucky to have you looking out for her best interest as well as taking the time to better understand her needs and explore what resources are available to the both of you. see more
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How can I best comfort a friend whose parent is experiencing dementia?
Thank you for reaching out, your friend is very lucky to have you looking out for her. Being a caregiver for anyone is an important... Thank you for reaching out, your friend is very lucky to have you looking out for her. Being a caregiver for anyone is an important job but for someone with memory loss you are not only their caregiver but at times their voice. When looking at ways to comfort your friend, I would encourage you to help her with her own self care. Is there something she enjoys doing for herself? Can you go with her? Can you step in as the caregiver while she takes a break for a few hours? It's a reminder for caregivers to focus on self care, not out of selfishness, but rather a way to ensure strength and stamina to be the caregiver they want to be. see more
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What to do with a Navy veteran who can no longer care for himself due to the onset of dementia?
Many veterans seek our service for senior care resources, thank you for reaching out! Seniors who are struggling with memory loss... Many veterans seek our service for senior care resources, thank you for reaching out! Seniors who are struggling with memory loss often benefit from an assisted living enviornment where they can receive the assistance with activities of daily living to maintain their independence. Considering his monthly income, both from personal finances and additional VA resources he may qualify for will be important to establish what options may be available. see more
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How can I get my dad to agree to a nursing home?
Your dad is so fortunate to have you looking out for his best interest. It sounds like you are experiencing what we call... Your dad is so fortunate to have you looking out for his best interest. It sounds like you are experiencing what we call caregiver burnout, a time when resentment and frustration set it. It may be time to draw some boundaries, hard as it may be. Looking into home care services in your area where someone comes to your home to sit with, and assist him, while you get some “you time” a vital part piece for all caregivers mental health. Although it can be a process, contacting the VA for such services may be an option, if he’s eligible. In the meantime, give us a call and we can at least see what other option may be available while you look into the VA. see more
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Home care or placement?
Wow! You’re parents are very lucky to have you. Many facilities offer what they call a ‘respite stay.’ A respite stay is not... Wow! You’re parents are very lucky to have you. Many facilities offer what they call a ‘respite stay.’ A respite stay is not only an opportunity for the caregiver to get a break (a respite), but also for the seniors to try out in assisted-living without feeling as though they fully committed. We encourage the families to talk to the facilities, as many require a 10 day minimum stay. The majority of seniors who do a respite stay actually opt to stay in the assisted-living long-term. After two weeks many find they enjoy the socialization of others, the assistance they need at their fingertips, and the ability to spend time with their family as a family not just caregivers. see more
Is there a service that can check on my father at memory care to give us a break? We just need an extra set o...
I would encourage you to contact a local advisor. He/she will be able to offer you local resources to your area as well as explore what other agencies may be helpful for your family. Good luck! see more