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They say she is batting and hitting this same lady. The lady can't hear so she touches people all day long and wanders around. The unit says this lady "hears" by touching. They tried to make me sit with her but I had surgery on my throat 2 weeks ago and I can't talk. The surgery went bad and I'm exhausted. I think this place is not a good place for Mom. If we have to pay the place and sitters, I might as well take her home and have caregivers there. I don't know what to do!

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Update on The Great Roadtrip with Rosie,
She is going to go to the next nearest city to a very nice place. It is a stand alone Memory Care place. There is a lot more room to roam around, and her room is wonderful. Sister came and helped me move her stuff and husband unpacked the stuff we didn't want to leave. We saw staff everywhere, even though it was the weekend. Also the staff was eating the same food. Prayers people that this place can keep my Mama!
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Llamalover47 Nov 24, 2018
BootShopGirl: Happy that you had a good result!
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I got a call to come today to an emergency executive meeting. The director of the NH and head nurse on Memory Care Unit, etc. met with me. They said my Mom was on video tape and the touchy lady was going around picking up stuff off the carpet and my Mom went over and bopped her first this time. They also told me they had changed her seraquell (spelling) dose and had been giving her more. Say What? They said this is really an assisted living memory care unit and even though they only have 16 rooms, there are only a nurse and 1 or 2 aids on the floor and my Mom needs 1 on 1 care. They sent her too the Behavioral hospital today at 2 p.m. Basically they want the hospital to find a better place for her. That's all she is doing. I am 5ft. tall and not that scary but I was today. I can't talk much but I made that dry erase board and my pen get the point across. It sounds like we will be moved on down the pike. That's okay too because my Mom's soap and shampoo and toothpaste etc. has not seemed to be getting any use since the day she arrived 4 months ago. Thanks for all the comments and answers because I used parts of all of them today! Ya' all are the best! Also, I am Veronica....who wants to be touched all the time by a random lady always in your space! Sister is also D.P.O.A. for financial and health. We can work together or independently. I had her on speaker phone.
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Rabanette Nov 14, 2018
Maybe they don't really want to tell us, when we sign up for these pricey Memory Care units, that we really need to be prepared to spend more money for one on one care for our parents, ie, sitters. The sitters can be fantastic, bless these people with this much patience. (Easier to be patient when it's not your mom or dad?)
It kind of begs the question, why can't they provide someone to do some one on one attention every day? Even if it's just to take a walk outside of the unit, that helps.
It's staggering to see just how many people it really does take to take care of the elderly. It takes a village, for sure.
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It's just this 1 lady! And bless me but I don't get the hearing with her hands either! There send to be no other problem, just this they say. We feel like our Mom is being punished. Also, the DON hung up on my sister when the sister said I can't come again because I can't talk and already spent 5 hours with Mom yesterday. I used a white board and all Mom did was ask questions so I wrote for basically 4hours out of the 5. I've just had it. I am going to talk to the Behavioral hospital social worker after they admit her this morning. Wish me luck. Maybe they can find a better fit for us. Oh and we are self pay too.
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Or find another place, or speak with the powers that be in her present place. Hitting someone is not acceptance behaviour, but it could be argued that wandering around touching people isn't acceptable either. It would drive me nuts. If this is the only problem they have with your mum then could you request that they work with the other lady and the situation in general to accommodate everyone? Doesn't seem fair to your mum. Are they tweaking her meds in the behavioral hospital? How about sending the touchy lady to the behavioural Hospital and see if they can stop her bothering everyone, There must be others who are uncomfortable with her behaviour. Boot - get well - hope you recover
soon,

madge - good suggestions, I know you have a lot of experience.
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Bsg
sorry about your own health situation at the moment and hope you get better soon

your post makes my head want to explode as you could be describing hoca except the situation really has to deteriorate for them to send someone out on a 5051 hold

you say they hung up on your sister so are you the only POA? Are there any other options for mom nearby ?

if mom is not invading anyone else's space and cooperates with staff for ADLs, then they should not be sending her out

have you observed how staff interacts with the other non hearing lady? I'm only suspecting, but I'd say this is the issue- they aren't redirecting the lady since they can't communicate with her

Some types of dementia have spatial issues and folks walk around touching things including other people - it is a rare occasion that someone doesn't come up when I'm visiting mom and either touch her wheelchair or something on our table and if they're approaching me from behind she can still sometimes give a warning

since you say mom is private pay, I suspect this also is the other reason, they are not doing much with the other lady - they might put up with a lot to keep a bed filled -

definetely, get as much info as you can while mom is in the geriatric ward

does mom's facility have a social worker? If not, ask for the ombudsman to attend the next care meeting upon her return and work out a set of expectations

ultimately, if they can't or won't meet expectations then you have to decide to leave or stay - I've been stuck in this frustration for nearly 3 years
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Don't know what you can do but I too would be batting someone who kept touching me. One room mate I had keep coming over to my bed and pulling up the blankets. Fortunately she was discharged the next morning.
Agree with everyone else that the touchy lady should be kept out of general circulation if she is doing this to other people too.
I assume that Mom is not lashing out at anyone else.
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Just a dam' minute.

There is a fellow resident with a hearing impairment who wanders about the place touching people. (I don't quite follow how this works for her. How does touch replace sound? But I'm sure they know their resident.)

And your mother is expected to process and retain the information that this lady's sensory impairment is compensated for by touching, and to tolerate somebody laying hands on her?

I'm not sure who's the most nuts person in the picture!

You'd have thought it would be just as easy to teach the lady with the hearing impairment about appropriate touching as it is to expect your mother to make reasonable accommodations for disability. Maybe it is "just as" easy. I.e. not possible in either case.

Have you met formally with the unit's staff to discuss the point?
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Would moving your mom be an option? You might write an email to her therapist or social worker once she gets settled in at the current geri psych hospital and inquire about options for placement once she is discharged

My mom has been in the geri psych hospital too twice since September, and just got back out three weeks ago. I'm kind of playing it by ear right now. She is in an ALF type environment but her social worker did say that at some point if she continues to have psychiatric episodes there she will need NH care, and the lady gave me info for a NH here that specializes in seniors who are mentally ill that I believe does take Medicaid.

Something like that might be a good option for your mom, especially if she struggles with long term mental health issues.

I'm really sorry you are going through this, and having just had a rough surgery to boot has to be super stressful. Hopefully the hospital can give you some options.
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BSG is your mother approaching or attacking this woman without any cause, or is she *only* doing it when the woman comes up and touches her?

If it's the latter, then it seems really unjust to remove your mother. And not just unjust, but also not great management - I mean, how do the other residents respond to Mrs Feely?
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My mother could be combative as well. She feared men and would hit any woman with short hair because she thought it was a man. I know of twice that this happened. She was never sent to a Behavioral Hospital, but we did decide she’d be better off on the locked ward. 90% of her 3 years there, even though she was on Medicaid, they had her alone in the room. She couldn’t be trusted with a roommate. They worked with me to find the best solution.

Have you had a meeting with the staff? Maybe, like with my mom, there is more going on than you’re aware of.
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