My Dad died 3 1/2 years ago. He was a real gentleman and Lt Col in the USAF. He and my mom made a really nice life together. Shortly after he died, she told me she wanted my family to move into her home (a bit larger than mine and on a lake) so she wouldn't be lonely and I could care for her as she ages. I felt that was too soon. Not understanding how tough grief can be, I thought she would find her vitality again, and might find out presence their stifling. My brothers were adamantly against my moving in and said she should just downsize her home and sell the lake home. Within the year, one brother divorced his wife of 36 years and moved in with my mom while he regrouped. When fishing everyday didn’t fulfill him, he got on Match.com and met up with a “lady” who he MOVED INTO my mom’s home within weeks of knowing her. She is pretty low on the totem pole of life—48 living in a run down RV with no recent employment history, pretty guttural language and habits, even brought her dogs which she kept chained or in cages or running through my mom’s home. (I love dogs…this was cruel situation.) Eliza Doolittle in the first part of “My Fair Lady” far exceeds this lady…who sometime during the year started calling my mother “Mom.” (She does have her own mother.) They come and go, sometimes my brother is on the road as a trucker, and they use her place as their crash pad.
I don’t feel peace at all there anymore. Dynamics have changed to say the least! The other brothers don’t seem to have issues…they come in and fish or hang out….they have all been divorced and see it as a phase and aren’t bothered by her living with our mom. Are my concerns unfounded? Am
I being a “Karen”?