Follow
Share

My Dad is 92 and has diabetes, a pacemaker, a catheter, & he's on hospice. He lives at my sister's house & I've been trying to go down every week or so to help. They are 6 hours away. Dad is strong & moves constantly so it's difficult to keep bedding underneath him - especially the one we use to move or straighten him up to eat. Also, he will not keep any clothing on - it seems to irritate his skin (at least in his mind). We've tried putting duct tape on his diaper to keep him from pulling it off, but some how he still manages to slip it off. Caregivers & nurses want him medicated, but he's not in pain & is his old lovable self most of the time. The past 2 weekends he has removed all the linens & then had a BM. My sister & I are not strong enough to turn him, but we do our best. We cannot afford to hire weekend caregivers. Any ideas??? we are exhausted.

Has Hospice provided a Hoyer Lift? If so that should make it easier to change him.
One of the easy ways to get him to roll onto his side is to take his hand and bring it across his chest and have him hold onto the bed rail. (I do hope you have a hospital bed with rails) once his hand is on the rail hands at hip and shoulder should easily help him roll onto his side.
Please have the CNA show you how to turn him safely and easily.
Medicating him before you have to move him is going to make it safer for you, your sister and your dad.
I have to ask how does your sister manage on her own when you are not there?
You do know that Medicare and Medicaid and most all other insurances will cover Respite for Hospice patients each year. You might want to take advantage of that. Hospice will also be able to place dad in the In Patient Unit for symptom and or pain management, this is not part of the respite time.
Helpful Answer (2)
Reply to Grandma1954
Report

Being “medicated” and being “his old lovable self” are by no means mutually exclusive, and the absence of pain doesn’t mean that he wouldn’t benefit from small WELL PLANNED doses of APPROPRIATE mood stabilizing medications.

His skin may be irritated by his constant movement, any contacts with moisture or bedding or the clothing he NEEDS to wear.

OF COURSE you are exhausted, but is your exhaustion to the point at which you will allow yourselves to consider solutions that you’ve previously rejected?

My adorable OL was miserable before entering Memory Care, but soon after arriving, she met a wonderful compassionate psychiatric behavioral specialist, who changed her life, and ours.

Ask the hospice staff to recommend a geriatric behavior specialist. Ours was able to prescribe, and worked with ME to plan a medication action profile that soothed her WITHOUT taking away anything we love about her. She’s a hospice patient too.

Even now, after surviving TWO Covid infections, she still snaps off witty comments, sleeps and eats well, and is a joy to be around.

You know how horrified he’d be if he were aware of what he’s been doing to his daughters. That’s why you love him so much. Please at least consider this suggestion. It’s being sent along to you with concern and care by someone who gets how tough this is.
Helpful Answer (1)
Reply to AnnReid
Report
Cover99 Sep 12, 2021
Medicate until catatonic
(0)
Report
See 1 more reply
A visit or consult with his PCP is in order. Even though you state he is 'his old lovable self' much of the time, THAT'S not what the problem is. It's all the time when he's undressing and being cantankerous.

Is there a trigger to this behavior? Something goes amiss and he acts out?

Somebody who is 'fine' much of the time, but has episodes like you say dad is having is NOT 'OK'. And probably shouldn't be left alone.

When they talk about 'calming meds' that can run the whole gamut from a single Valium to horse tranquilizers. He doesn't need to be 'knocked out', just calmed down a little.

Sadly, he is probably going to worsen as he ages. You need to decide how much you can take before you step in with meds that may help. If they just calmed him down to the point he wasn't undressing--you could probably live with that quite a while.

Sometimes, along with dementia, comes a hyper-sensitivity to touch--hence the feeling that he is uncomfortable in clothing.

The undressing and messing the bed is a deal breaker for sure. Once my FIL got to that stage--we were told he could not live alone. I think that is the tipping point for a lot of people.
Helpful Answer (1)
Reply to Midkid58
Report

I am having the same issues with my husband because he wets the bed then gets up and removes his clothes in the night , then its a fight to put clothes on him once I get him cleaned up, very frustrating so sometimes I let him go to bed with out clothes then he proceeds to pee on the floor, his shoes and everything in his room. Now I am removing everything out of his room but his bed. I have him on several meds to stop his aggression , so long story short I know for a fact he would never wear a diaper. I am looking to put him a memory care facility I can no longer physically or mentally take care of him any longer I have put in 8 years
Helpful Answer (1)
Reply to JSunny
Report

Ask a Question
Subscribe to
Our Newsletter