A new development with my mother (94) who lives with me. She now lets the water run and run when she cleans up. Last week had a leak in my ceiling because water was coming down from her bathroom upstairs. Got a plumber to get it fixed. I asked my mother not to keep the water running so long but as usual she gets so angry at me and brings up all kinds of issues. She rants and raves about me and I leave the room. Then there is the toilet paper issue. She uses it up like it was going out of style. I can't say anything about that either. I know there is no reasoning with her because you get nowhere. What can I do to manage this behavior? I noticed that this behavior usually happens in the morning.

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I have experienced both. the toilet paper thing stopped. The water thing is ongoing. She has actually run the water heater out of hot water.
She no longer wipes after ta trip to the bathroom. I have to watch and listen since she does not urn on the lights or flush.
Bathing has changed because we have a step in tub. She will use a large plastic cup to continually pour water over herself. She does not use the shower.
She will start and stop the sink washing her fingers, not her entire hands.
There is a good chance she will stop soon and then again maybe not. If not, it is because in her mind she is doing what is necessary. I just have to be alert and watch because she will walk away and leave the faucet running.
I can only suggest you keep on doing what you are doing and maybe there is a Teepa Snow video you can watch and learn from.
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Reply to OldSailor

LivingSouth, you shouldn't need a plumber for that. Normally a disposable diaper will balloon up quickly enough that it won't flush. Been there, done that. In the case that it doesn't, get an auger ($10 or so), and use that. The tip will grind into the diaper and then just pull it out. It's good to have an auger with modern low water use toilets anyways since by their design, a plunger doesn't do much.
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Reply to needtowashhair

Have had to get plumber - to the tune of $90 - to fish out the disposable panties clogged in the toilet. I think she learned her lesson from that, hopefully.
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Reply to LivingSouth

and my mom is the opposite. I took her to get xray. and she had a fluid iv in her arm for the xray. I had to take her to the restroom and the roll of TP was out of her reach. so I pulled off a good amount of TP for her. she insisted NO. she only wanted like 3-4 squares (?!) and then she wanted a drop of water on the TP to wipe.
I think she so worried about clogging the pipes, maybe from early memory of my dad getting upset in their old home about clogged toilet. ug

sometimes when I want my mom to follow directions. I make a note in BLOCK LETTERS and add smiley face, sign with my name and tape it close by. I know this makes my mom mad when I do this - - but sometimes it works.
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Reply to wally003

My Mom leaves a trail of used Kleenex wherever she goes. It is easy to find her by just following the trail! She also has the strangest toilet habit: she counts out each square of paper that she pulls off the roll until she gets to a certain length. Then she folds it all neatly and uses it to wipe. I think that behavior is a throwback to when she used to fold up toilet tissue and put it in the crotch of her panties in case of "leaks". I have tried to break her of that habit since she is now in absorbent "undergarments" and I want her to avoid UTIs. And yes, she uses a LOT of toilet paper!
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Reply to texasrdr22

Since the behavior usually occurs in the morning, the night before unroll the toilet paper roll so she doesn't have much to work with in the morning. Keep enough on there for her to use and that's it. When the roll is finished swipe the cardboard roll and wrap the toilet paper you took off the other roll around the new roll. You'll then have 2 rolls to work with. A fuller roll and a roll with just enough toilet paper on it for your mom to use in the morning. I know it sounds like a pain in the neck but so is a clogged toilet and a bill from RotoRooter.
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Reply to Eyerishlass

My MiL did the same thing, she passed at the 1st of the month but when she lived with us, the toliet would always need plunging and the worst part was, my husband and I, totally believed her when she said it was my oldest son doing it. (using too much paper) but the last time it got really backed up and we called RotoRooter the guy did found gel material from my MiL's adult briefs in the line that swelled up, apparently she would "pick" at the absorbent material and drop it in the toilet. He said that it must have been going on quite a while for it to happen. The crazy thing was my MiL would simply not WEAR adult briefs, she expected us to physically pick her up and carry her to the bathroom, but we always left a pack of briefs under the sink, and once the guy found the gel, we looked and almost every brief had the lining picked out of it but the pack didn't look like it was "disturbed" too much, it looked fairly normal at a quick glance. It really is one of the moments where we sit around and wonder how was she able to do that without leaving any outward looking signs. It's a mystery.

Not to mention all the Kleenex we found in the leg of the coffee table (another mystery)

My advice about the excess water usage is to put an low flow aerator on the sinks/tubs that she uses.
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Reply to DesperateinFL2

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