I've read some 5 year-old posts on this forum that saw a huge amount of controversy. In particular, the question of being paid to be a caregiver for a loved one and/or deserving more inheritance than non-contributing siblings. I am paid to provide care to my parents with dementia, and my parents' Will has me receiving 40% of the inherited estate, while my brothers are to each get 30%. I voluntarily took up the task of caregiving almost 2 years ago. But I had to give up my employment, my home and what now feels like my whole future, to be here for increasingly needy parents. We saw the geriatrician today, who virtually guilted me into applying for long term care for them both. The waiting list for a nursing home is about 3 years, so we may never be forced into making the difficult decision to send them or carry on this immense burden. Sure, it's a burden of love. I chose to come live with them. But I did so before understanding how hard it would be. How tired, how sick and how frustrated I'd become. I'm not saying these things to be mean or disrespectful toward my parents, who still only want the best for me. I say them because it's the reality of my state of mind. And yet, even thinking about applying for long term care makes me feel horribly guilty. I worked in health care for years, attending a number of meetings concerning the state of senior care in the province (Ontario). I can't get over hearing about the rule that no adult diapers is to be changed until it's 75% full. Or about how you'd better be at the nursing home at the crack of dawn to feed your loved one, because the staff sure don't have the time to do it. Shelter animals are better treated than that! My parents wouldn't survive more than a few months in a place like that, and I would probably be more stressed and exhausted than I am now. In-home nursing care could cost even more than placement in AL. I feel caught between 3 evil choices for the future. I'm not sure exactly what I'm asking. But I may be forced to decide between their lives and my own. If I end up placing them in care, the financial burden may put me out on the street with nothing after sacrificing my life. If I elect to keep them at home for as long as they continue to live, the physical and emotional burden will kill me. How the H*LL do I make a decision?