For over 3 1/2 years my brother has prevented me from seeing or speaking to my mom. I was caring for her in her home across the street from me for over 2 years. She is almost 99 & has had dementia for about 5 years now.

APS wouldn’t do anything until I told them she wasn’t safe in her home since she couldn’t get out by herself in an emergency. He moved a woman into her home who had gotten evicted from her trailer park just to say someone was there.

In December brother had a gathering at mom’s with 4 different households. 3 days later a rescue came for my mother....she got covid.

After a month in the hospital she was sent to a nursing home where she’s been ever since. The woman still lives in my mother’s home with all the bills still in my moms name.

I called an agency last week called Alliance For Better Long Term Care & explained my situation. Nursing home told me all visits had to be approved by brother.

This agency called them & I’m finally going to be allowed to see my mom! Brother flipped out & told them there was a no contact order against me for abuse which he’s been telling everyone for the past few years......none of which is true.

I don’t know what’s going to happen next because he’s now threatening to get guardianship. He had mom sign all new documents 3 years ago when she had dementia & I know she didn’t know what she was signing......she trusted him. Unlimited DPOA, amended trust to benefit him 100%.

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Thank you so much for your kind thoughts. Brother used to call the police if I tried to call or see my mother & say I was harassing her. Because he had POA they’d tell me there was nothing they could do.

My mom’s dementia is worse now after she got covid & I don’t even know if she’ll know me. They’re only allowed 1 visit per week per patient & he flipped out when they told him I had an appointment. He booked the next 4 weeks in a row so I can’t go.

As far as I’m concerned our relationship is beyond repair.
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It appears that your brother's greed is the driving force here, IMHO.

If your mom's dementia was documented prior to when he got her to sign new documents that benefit him, you need to get to a lawyer ASAP. This is so wrong of him and you definitely can get this all reversed.

Some people just are not very nice. I hope he gets punished for his immoral and mean spirited behavior.

Your brother's friend needs to be removed from mom's house. The house should probably be sold to pay for her care. What a mess. Sorry you are having to deal with this nonsense.
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Jada824 May 2021
Thank you. With my brother it’s control, greed & spite. The DPOA he had my mom sign gives him the right to use her money to fight me & I can’t afford a lawyer.

The police know about what’s going on and won’t do anything because they say it’s a civil matter. APS at one point told me “pretend she’s dead & move on with your life”

I don’t know how to get this woman out of moms house when he has control. It pains me every day to see her entertaining her family there.

I have been so depressed over my situation for the past few years and I’m so anxious to see my mom tomorrow.

I’m relieved that the nursing home & the agency saw his true colors but the nursing home went along with him until the agency got involved.


I am so happy that you will be able to see your mom!

I had issues with my siblings but I was never banned from seeing mom. My brother even apologized to me and told me that he said things that he really didn't mean and completely understood the stress that I had been under.

It is horrible that you have been banned by your brother. You had taken care of your mom for years. It's crazy how things can become so confusing.

Wishing you all the best.
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