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or a friend avoiding APS...this had happened to me quite a lot. Maybe people like me but my next door neighbor by default...her sister being in another city and I next door, then a friend who panicked due to not wanting to stay overnight with her 104 year old mother whom I told to call her sister also not in town as well as having been alerted by APS. They did not want to spend money, and finally a cousin refused to accept my refusal to take care of her mother due to them working. I knowing basic problems like neediness, alcoholic, just did not want to be responsible and this made her angry. I was the fall guy meaning I was called lazy, and any favors were looked upon as being used like a car sold to me by this group that I paid for mind you. Guilt tripping. Subsequently person really did not want a stranger or money was a waste as mother never liked the sitters which she would never like a stranger. I never want to caretake anyone other than my own Mother and Father its too much responsibility and I am retired with a parent of my own..presumptuous relatives!!!

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Say 'Yup, I'm lazy and selfish', smile, and leave it at that. It doesn't give them anywhere to go! And anyone hearing it, will automatically question why you said it, not accept it as Gospel truth.
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Reply to MargaretMcKen
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YOU'RE RETIRED! Its just like the stay at home mother. People think they have lots of time on their hands so why can't they do u a favor for them. Are you basically a good hearted person who saying no was hard in the past? Now you have learned your limitations from caregiving and are learning to say no. People like this always surprise me. If I were ur cousin I would see where u took care of Mom and now Dad and say, she has had enough on her plate and she deserves some time to herself. These people have no idea what is involved with caring for a parent, making decisions for them and just the whole responsibility of it all. These people are selfish. You r not their slave. I gather since they were trying to save money, they didn't think u needed to be paid. Tell them your responsibility is only to your parents not your Aunts and Uncles. That is cousins responsibility. That even though Dad is in a home, the responsibilty to him doesn't go way. What time you have is yours to do what you want. That u have done all the caregiving you are going to do. They get mad oh well.
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Reply to JoAnn29
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Well, some people get angry if anyone tells or does something that doesn't go along with their wishes. And name-calling is a bullying tactic.  Some very nasty bullies out there, but you just learn to discount what they say and to ignore them. Takes practice, but you can actually learn to respect yourself for standing up to bullying.
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