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My dad has been living with me since Dec 2017. He lived out of state and due to declining health I finally convinced him to live with me.


My dad has mild to moderate dementia. Sometimes he's with it other times not so much. My dad collapsed in July of this year. While outside with my husband. He had taken an infusion of Reclast the day before in which the doctor said it was safe for him to take.


We took him to hospital and then he went to rehab where he lost 20 lbs that I just had got him to put on while living with me. I took him back to the hospital and then to a new rehab facility.


He is dealing with the dementia, diabetes and now a pulmonary embolism.


He is not able to get out of bed and walk on his own - it takes tremendous effort for the aids to lift him out of bed. He can walk with a walker but doesn't always use it properly. He also is very anxious all the time.


The facility has assisted living and I was told that he would be ok to go to assisted living but I haven't told him yet. We are supposed to take in his furniture to make it like home.


I feel guilty because I don't think I can take care of him.

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Dont ever feel guilty iflts for their safety and well being
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Reply to Coneal7876
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you feel guilty you cant take care of him. because you feel you are doing something wrong or bad? Try to think of facility as your ~next~ best move. You are not alone in feeling like its too much to handle.
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Reply to wally003
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I read up on this Relast and am surprised it was given to a 93 yr old with its side effects, one which is losing weight,

An AL is very limited in what they can do for your Dad. A LTC facility is more hands on. Dad probably needs continued rehab and a LTC can do that. Ask what kind of care Dad will receive. Will Medicaid be excepted.
Ratio of aides to residents. No, at this point he needs more care than you maybe able to give. He has Dementia so he may not understand fully or even forget what you say. When u explain, make it short. Just tell him the doctor feels he needs more care and he will be going to a nice room for now. If he says he wants to go home, tell him when the doctor feels he is strong enough. Short and sweet. He cannot process too much info at any one time.

He is in a safe place being cared for 24/7. Dad will probably decline as time goes on. He will become incontinent. This is not your fault. He is 93. What you do now is just be there. Make sure he is getting the care he deserves.
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Reply to JoAnn29
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