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I moved back home on a career break to help my family with my grandma who is 88 and in decline and still living at home on her farm.


Its been a rough week this week I woke up Wednesday morning to find her on the kitchen floor in her Pjs not sure if she was still with us or not nor how long she had been there. It's an experience I never want to have again.


I cant help feeling like I missed something or should have seen something. I thought maybe would be good to find somewhere to talk to people who are in also caring for an elderly relative.

Elderly folks fall for many reasons, they trip, lose their balance, have a UTI, have had a Stroke or TIA, got light headed from low blood pressure or dehydration, they are weak, all sorts of reasons, and there is No Way you can be present to "catch" them or prevent their falls 24/7, so do no feel bad for it!

The good news is that you found her in time, and hopefully you had her checked out if you didn't happen to know how Long she was down, as there are other things that need to be checked for, other than fractures, bumps and bruises.

For instance, if someone lays on the floor long enough, they might have hypothermia, or might get RHABDOMYOLYSIS, a muscle injury which can be caused by impingement, or laying on an arm or leg for an expended period of time, an if long enough can cause serious kidney damage. Then again, sometimes it's very difficult to get an elderly Loved one to agree to get checked out by the Medics, let alone see their Dr, so we do the best we can. When in doubt, call 911 to assist and to check them out.

Now would be a good time to have your local Area Agency on Aging to come out and do an assessment on your Grandmother, to see what Social Services she might qualify for.
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Reply to staceyb
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You are doing everything right, not wrong! You were on the spot to find a serious problem, and now you are working out what to do about it. Well done!
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Reply to MargaretMcKen
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Gdaughterx Sep 18, 2018
Thank you I just worry and put a lot of pressure on me I feel responsible and the fall and finding her there like that has impacted me more than I initially realized
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Don’t feel guilty. This is in no way your fault. You are not the one who missed something. You don’t say, but is grandma living alone? If so, she should not be. She is a fall risk. Falls can happen very quickly and with no warning. My husband blacked out and fell in rehab with three aides standing right there. The problem is, depending on where Grandma falls next time she could badly injure herself; break a bone, a hip, sustain a skull fracture, etc. She needs someone there 24/7.

Have a family meeting and decide what to do. Will someone move in with Grandma? Does she need s walker? Does she have diagnosed dementia? Does she need to go to a facility and the farm be sold? Is the paperwork (DPOA) in order? Caregiving is a noble undertaking, but a plan still has to be in place and everyone needs to be on board with it.
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