Handling cousin's passive aggressive posts. Any ideas to stop it or should I just move forward and ignore it?

I don't really understand why you felt the need to make excuses and draw back from blocking her on Facebook. But then I left Facebook altogether because I couldn't stand seeing one particular relative's stupid fat face (as I uncharitably called it to myself) on my daughter's home page, so perhaps I'm no judge of FB etiquette.

Honesty is the best policy in any context, though, don't you think? She makes no bones about rubbing salt in your wounds, as though you need the decisions about your mother to be any more painful than they already are. Is this woman singularly insensitive towards anyone but herself? Is there any reason why you can't simply tell her that for the time being you just need a rest?

Well now she just showed you what gets *her* upset...being blocked so that the object of her passive comments is no longer reading them. Why wouldn't you block her? It takes away her power! If she asks why, you can give her an earful, since she asked an "honest" question, she gets an "honest" answer. Then you also may need to explain to other relatives why you were "forced" to block her. Unfriending her won't do the job. She needs to know she's blocked and that you're no longer reading her drivel and tolerating her dysfunction.

Caregivers who are actually CARING for dependent elderly people typically don’t have the luxury of wasting time or energy on nonsensical reactions of others.

Attempting to mount a defense to this stuff is just absorbing time when you could be doing something nice to be kind to yourself.

Do your nails, watch a funny video, make fudge, weed the garden, practice your tuba, don’t spend time on FB SILLINESS.

Blocking would be my first choice, but there's always the option of "unfollowing" the person on FB. That way you're still technically Friends on there - but, your timeline will not display her posts.
I've unfollowed many people on FB and they have no idea ...

My sister does this with my mother.......

I called mom and she sounded depressed. Are you sure that she's being taken care off.
I called mom and she said you wouldn't take her _______to get_____
I called mom and she said that you tested positive for Ebola.
I called mom and she said that you refuse to give her parakeet a birthday party.

Best advice for this. Ignore it or fight Passive Aggressive with Passive Aggressive.

My standard reply to stuff like you are getting on FB is "What a Weird thing to say"

Block her.....or if you don't block her, just put her on a Facebook vacation. You won't get notices from her for a month. You may want to explain that though you're sure your mom would love to move there that someone with dementia just could not work around such a big move. Their brain is injured and the travel alone with just confuse her to no end. Then explain though the apartment would be great that mom would very likely start a fire because people with dementia often forget what they are doing in the middle of doing it! The stove would be left on, etc. People who don't live with those whose memories are failing don't realize the inherent danger. Maybe cousin feels guilty about how she treated her folks. Anyway, it sounds like a vacay for cuz on facebook.

If your cousin is posting tear-jerker photos (of your Mom), she has no right to do that on social media. You can show it to your Mom, let her get upset at cousin one last time. You don't need cousin to be the instigator of trouble in your Mom's life, or in your life.

You can also repeatedly report posts to fb, explore that option.

When I blocked my sister, I had just told her I was done with fb. I also unfriended her known associates. Then, I really closed down fb to the extent that I can make newsfeed adjustments to view a family's birthday. That's it.

I would feel an obligation to secure my mother's privacy on fb by reporting posts that are about her. imo.

Then, let it go. 100%

I hate those posts. I know people mean well, but even if your parent isn't narcissistic or abusive, there are other reasons why - in this society - that we all aren't living under the same roof and taking care of each other 24/7. I especially don't like it that some people post these things knowing of my struggle and they say a completely different, supportive thing to my face. But is the FB post with gma all alone at the table (the situation my MIL loves to be in! - any visits she has from relatives she no longer remembers send her into a 3 day tizzy) some sort of dig at me later? Ugh. Block her.

I could have written this post myself actually, except for the PA posts on Facebook, my cousin does the exact same thing & it infuriates me!!!! If it were me and my cousin were adding the FB posts into the sh*t show that's already going on, I'd BLOCK her. She won't know it b/c FB doesn't tell her you've blocked her, but you won't see her toxic posts at all anymore and she won't see yours. If she contacts you as to why she's not 'hearing' from you on social media, tell her that you've realized 'social media' is actually ANTI-SOCIAL media & you're no longer participating in the toxic wasteland these days. Done & done.

That said, my cousin lives 3500 miles away from me in Staten Island in a 3 story home. I am an only child to a very difficult mother living in Memory Care Assisted Living with advanced dementia, incontinence and about 10 other issues too numerous to mention, at 94.5 years old. I've been handling/managing her entire life for the past 10 years, this time around, since I had to move my folks close to me in 2011 after dad had to quit driving. So now, my sainted cousin has been telling mom she would LOVE to have her come live with HER, that she will make up an in law apartment for her in her house! Her house with stairs. Mom is wheelchair bound, I forgot to mention. An inlaw apartment with a kitchen, which means mom would try to cook & burn the entire house down, with advanced dementia. Hello? What planet are we living on??? I have told my cousin 100x that mom has advanced dementia, has she not noticed when mom talks about 'riding the subway to come visit mama & papa' who have been dead for 36 years and 65 years respectively???? This cousin makes herself out to be The Good Guy and me out to be The Bad Guy b/c why oh why am I not taking in my Poor Sweet Wonderful Mother? Well, first off, b/c she's not sweet & wonderful and also b/c it requires an entire TEAM of care givers to care for the woman 24/7!!!!!!!!!!!! So every time mom says "Oh B would LOVE for me to come live with HER" I say, "Great, when is she coming to PICK YOU UP?" That's when the conversation comes to an abrupt halt & the subject is changed.

I truly hate people who love to instigate and make themselves out to be saints when it's all talk. And talk is cheap. Real life with these narcissistic mothers is something else that nobody understands or can empathize with unless they're stuck in the trenches themselves.

As you can see, your post hit a raw nerve with me. :)

Go ahead & BLOCK your daft cousin on FB and get some peace that way! Good luck!

You can ignore the posts. And you should.
If she feels strongly about how much of an honor it is to care for someone your cousin can become your mom's caregiver is she feels that strongly about it. I can almost bet that it will not last long.
Continue to look for Assisted Living for mom and ignore the outsiders.