Handling cousin's passive aggressive posts. Any ideas to stop it or should I just move forward and ignore it?

If you can’t talk to her then think about putting her on a 30 day rest again on FaceBook … When she comments again let her know there is enough happening that you needed a rest from FaceBook . Look up the iceberg poster on the Alzheimers web site . There at about 18 things that non CareTakers are not aware of . All they see is the surface issue . Maybe remind her she wasn’t there therefore should not judge .. She can only make you feel bad if you allow it .. I would continue to just ignore her posts . Prayers are with you .

At point I think I would have to block her. You asked her to stop and she wouldn't. Sounds like she is deliberately trying to get under your skin.

When they make these posts just reply that : Thank you for loving her so much. Considering you are so in love with her then why are you not stepping up and taking her into your home or going and living with her to take of her? "
As far as social media like Facebook is concerned, have confidence in who you are in Christ and then ignore their insults.

Hi,
My best advise is to ignore it.
I too have a very narcissistic mother. Your situation sounds very similar to mine. I have come to learn that NO ONE, and I mean absolutely no one, understands what it is like to have a narcissistic mother unless they've been there. I am caregiver to mine and have been for several years. It's been a horrible experience. My sister, unfortunately, is just now realizing how bad mom really is. My sister being the Golden Child. I have sought so much counseling and have come to accept that it's best not to try to convince anyone of her sickness. Narcissistic Personality Disorder is a mental, maybe chemical imbalance and physical issue. Narcissists are unable to feel empathy, also have an inability to bond. Try researching Daughters of Narcissistic Mothers, you may be surprised as to how many of us suffer in silence. You'll find a lot of validation and understanding. I have driven myself nuts trying to explain to close friends and even boyfriends why I have hated her and now just feel sorry for her. My sister won't step up to help care for mom other than 2 night visits every 6 weeks. My mother also used up all of her money, so now we can't afford assisted living for her. I had started caring for her when I was unaware of NPD and now not being able to work because of caring for her and a 2 year bout with severe debilitating depression, I can't afford to move.
I hope I can give you a glimmer of hope and that is that the disorder has dissipated the older she gets and the worse her dementia is. She is 96 now. She's a very happy person and the dementia isn't as difficult to deal with as when she was in full NPD mode, gaslighting me and her passive aggressiveness.
Anyway, like I said, it's less crazy-making to just ignore her. There is no convincing anyone else that's unaware of the subtle abuse that slowly debilitates a daughter. Most people believe that "A mother always loves her child", and it's just not the case. People with NPD are sadly incapable of unconditional love, there's a glitch in them somewhere.
Take care, my heart goes out to you.

snooze her for 30 days

Everyone (who is NOT doing the caregiving) is so eager to tell you how blessed you are to still have her. Forget about the part that as long as she WON'T engage in life, you CAN'T engage in your own...OR that (if, like me) you have been doing it for 10 yrs without a day off/vacation/a life. OR that you gave up a good-paying job and retired early (as a widow you can retire with SS at 60), but taking a $500.00 a month hit in your payments so that you know your mom is lovingly cared for.
The ones who prattle on about what a blessing it is, likely NEVER cared for their lost parent and have no clue what all we go through. And although I adore my mom and always had a very close relationship with her...this has messed with me physically and I need surgery on my neck but cant do it until she no longer needs me because I wont be able to change her undergarments and give her bedbaths for at least a month...so I suffer chronic pain and dizziness.
I would just snooze the cousin...and ignore her otherwise.

Without 'unfriending' her (which you did already) - you can just block the posts she makes. Look at her post, on far top right side are 3 dots - you can set it to not see posts from her any more.

Keep in mind that she'll still be posting them. Others in the family see the posts and she's probably told more than one person she posts to get your attention. Instead of blocking, why not just add a comment to her post - 'Agreed' Let her think about that a while.

Your mom is in assisted living and being taken care of - she saved her money for old age and she's using it for that very thing. You aren't in a position to handle the caregiving, she can afford it, so no guilt. PLUS if you go visit her, it's all visit. No working your butt off and not really getting to visit.

I would quit responding to her since she wants a reaction. It sounds like she hates taking care of her mother because her mother doesn't seem to treat her all that well and she sounds miserable. I would either have another sibling of yours or you take on the responsibility or send the elderly person into a care facility if it seems to be getting worse. I think she'll keep harassing you until you take charge of the situation. Am sorry to say.

you don't owe her any explanation but if you want to let her know she is more than welcome at any time to step in and give you and your sister a break, she can stay with your mom for about a month while you get some respite time off. I am sure she won't volunteer. And don't worry IF you did ghost or unfriend her on FB, who cares, if it helps you then do it. that way she cannot see anything you post. Its always easier for someone else in the family to offer what you should or should not be doing, but when they are approached about helping, then they immediately come up with an excuse to not being able to help or they say you are over-reacting. i wish you luck. You do what you must do and if that means placing your mom somewhere that she can receive 24/7 care and then you can visit when its okay for you to do so.

Tell him what you do not want him to send. Then the next time...I will block you out.