For those who are health care proxy, what ways do they make themselves reasonably available?

You have been going thru this since May. Family meetings, are at your convenience but within their hours. Seems ur the only family so what do they talk about in this meetings? Is it something that can just be emailed to you? The meetings I went to, they talked about what they were doing. No time to ask questions.

When Mom was in AL it was close to home so I was there at least 15 min every day so the Nurse or aides would talk to me then. With the NH, I was there every other day. She was there 5 months and I don't think I had 5 calls. They talked to me when I was there.

You need to get across to them you do not need to be called for every little thing. A suppository is not a reason for a call. I got upset because I was called at 5am in the morning by the AL aide to tell me Mom fell out of bed. Everything looked OK. I don't sleep well and a call like this gets my heart going and then I can't get back to sleep. But my RN daughter says the aides have to call during their shift, its the law so I let it go.

If I had been working when Mom was in care, I would say no calls unless an emergency. You can lose ur job if getting too many calls at work. You are being paid to do a job.

I agree with you, this is just too much. And they need to be told energencies only. Yes, they may have to have a care meeting every 90 days by law, but you do not have to be available. And thats what they tell the insurance company, family member works and is not available for family meetings. Did u agree to be Medical Proxy. If not tell the DON that. Tell her you feel there are things that can be handled without your input. You travel for your job, and can not be there. You cannot leave a meeting to answer a call. They need to be practical and make decisions on their own, what is best for the patient. Thats what they are trained for. As far as you are concerned, your proxy comes in when there is a life and death decision to be made. Then you will make them aware of Moms wishes. But this being harassed every day at all hours has to stop.
If they want, you will sign a paper giving them the right to make everyday Medical decisions. I agree, they are making sure their tails are covered. Just have to get them to understand, they don't need to do that with you. Tell them its stressing u out.

Honestly I find some facilities "dump" unnessary things on the health care proxy or maybe their staff is not fully educated.

I’m facing this current dilemma. Mother,75, still “mostly” independent, under routine circumstances. But I’m here if she’s not feeling well , problem solving etc. We are going on a Mexico cruise. I’ve asked my friend , who has been a caregiver, to stay at my home as a local resource for mother. I’ll get the wi fi package on the boat, so friend should be able to reach me by phone, Facebook, or email.

Healthcare proxy should be limited to life or death decisions not routine health care, if your facility is calling you about every little thing you need to arrange a care plan meeting and let them know that although you would like to be kept in the loop with periodic updates you expect them to handle things like this - seriously, that's what they're being paid for.
When you go on holiday let them know you will be away and make sure that have your contact info, reiterate that you expect it to to be used ONLY in an acute life or death scenario.

This is an interesting question!

I think that it totally depends on the level of care that your LO is in. Someone who is at the EOL would be getting more calls about the necessary treatments and often those can be of imminent importance. In that case, you should be avaible 24/7--yep, it's HARD. My SIL is the 24/7 go-to for my MIL. So she answers every text (MIL cannot use the phone anymore) or phone call from CG's. Every. Single. One. Even when she's at work. Mom comes first. She said some days it;s 30+ texts that need answering ASAP. (It's never been anything important, BTW).

(DH, on the other hand, only answers texts and phone calls from his YS and then he may even wait a day or two. The CG's don't even bother calling him.)

If the person in care is fairly independent, then I would hope you could trust your CGs' to assess any given situation and decide if it requires some kind of pre-authorization, or something. A suppository? That's a no brainer, really.

Having the lines of communication open with all CG's involved and deciding beforehand what it important enough to call about and what's not should be examined and dealt with BEFORE anything happens. We knew what we would do for mom long before she ever needed the care.

If your LO is in a NH, then of course the NH will have rules & regs they have to follow. I've found that some NH's are on the phone all day trying to track down SOMEBODY to give them the go-ahead to do certain procedures.

If you can't be 'on call' for someone, please be honest about it and don't say "I'll be there' if you know in your heart you just...can't.