I'm about to give up my job and apartment in another city. I'm an only child. He has cognitive impairment with memory loss. I feel trapped and don't know how to cope. Isolated in country. He can do most stuff, but I came to protect him from a gf who was pressuring him for marriage and stuff and I didn't trust she had his best interests in mind. Now I've taken her place and he has lost friends, but he knows that was not healthy either. It's been a flat mess. Sound familiar to anyone? Has anyone given up their own job and personal life and moved in their mid 40s to do this? Aside from his gf and her family, he's not got many pals and is not interested in many activities. I feel like he needs me to entertain him and it terrifies me. I'm going from my completely independent life to this and I'm breaking down crying. Divorced parents, too. I feel so scared and so weighted down.
I'm pleased you found this forum but make getting advice in person next.
Dad is about to undergo 'the change'. Change of status from independant to semi-independant. This happens. It is old age.
This does not need to mean you leave your job/friends/home to keep him from this. Many have tried. Give up their lives to *help* their parent "stay in their own home".
It's a temporary fix. Just stalling what will happen.
Start helping Dad to move to the appropriate level of care he needs instead.
Caregiving has to work for BOTH parties. Your life matters just as much as your dad’s.
If it isn't too late, I recommend you do a handbrake turn and get your job, apartment and city life back.
I don't know what to say about your father. How old is he? How long had he and g/f been in a relationship? What about her was it that you so mistrusted (and why especially did your father listen to you)?