There is help. If FIL is low income you can get Medicaid to help with homecare. Aides to help bath him. Mediicaid will also pay for partial or full Daycare. Both will give you time to yourself. When u mean "off working" do you mean ur husband is working for days away from home?
You need to realize that with the Dementia's the person first loses shortterm memory and then the longterm seems to go back in time. In his mind you may be a child he feels he needs to take care of. You don't need to allow him to control you. Don't engage him in an argument, they cannot be reasoned with. Reasoning is the first thing to go. Just agree and walk away. If he hits you or gets violent call the police. He will be taken to a Psychic facility for observation and trying to find the right medication to control the violent tendency. If FIL is to the point he cannot be left alone, then it maybe time for a NH. If he has no money other than SS, you can apply for Medicaid. ALZ patient can live for years. There will come a time that you will have to do everything for him. Are you willing to toilet your FIL? Personally, I wouldn't do it for any man but my husband. And then, only because of the relationship we have.
You and husband need to have some alone time and discuss this situation and how you can handle it.
Dwyla, are you caring for your husband’s father by yourself? You have no one else to help you? Is he living in your house with you? What was the reason you agreed to care for your husband’s father if you knew he has Alzheimer’s, your husband wouldn’t be helping and you’d be doing this alone? Do you know Alzheimer’s only gets worse? Or, is this happening when you visit your father in law? Your profile is blank so it’s hard to know what to say to you.
Now do you mean your father in law is using childish words to you or is he talking to you like you were a child? How long has it been since he was to the doctor’s? Is he on any medication for the Alzheimer’s?
Talk in an honest way with your husband and tell him this is too much for you to do if you are caregiving for his father. Tell him if he doesn’t want to put his father in a nursing home, he has to pitch in and also get you some help. Don’t give up until your husband understands that this is not a choice. He HAS to do something for you.
I don't have any help from his 5 boys and they just are afraid of him that is the way they were raised and his wife is bed Reed and where's diapers and I was supposed to move in and help out him
You need to realize that with the Dementia's the person first loses shortterm memory and then the longterm seems to go back in time. In his mind you may be a child he feels he needs to take care of. You don't need to allow him to control you. Don't engage him in an argument, they cannot be reasoned with. Reasoning is the first thing to go. Just agree and walk away. If he hits you or gets violent call the police. He will be taken to a Psychic facility for observation and trying to find the right medication to control the violent tendency. If FIL is to the point he cannot be left alone, then it maybe time for a NH. If he has no money other than SS, you can apply for Medicaid. ALZ patient can live for years. There will come a time that you will have to do everything for him. Are you willing to toilet your FIL? Personally, I wouldn't do it for any man but my husband. And then, only because of the relationship we have.
You and husband need to have some alone time and discuss this situation and how you can handle it.
Now do you mean your father in law is using childish words to you or is he talking to you like you were a child? How long has it been since he was to the doctor’s? Is he on any medication for the Alzheimer’s?
Talk in an honest way with your husband and tell him this is too much for you to do if you are caregiving for his father. Tell him if he doesn’t want to put his father in a nursing home, he has to pitch in and also get you some help. Don’t give up until your husband understands that this is not a choice. He HAS to do something for you.