I have a serious issue going on here with myself. My 86 yr. old mother has been living with me and my husband since May. She is on Hospice care for a mass on her kidney. She had hip surgery, not replacement, and now cannot walk. She needs assistance to get to the bedside commode and in her chair.
I have a wonderful caregiver for her that comes 3 days a week while I work. My mother always makes up excuses why the caregiver shouldn't give her a bed bath or wash her hair. On my days off my mother than wants me to do this. First off, I am not comfortable giving my mother a full bath. I have, but reluctantly. I used to wash her hair, but now it gives me more time if the caregiver can do it. I am not being selfish, but I am very behind in getting things done in the house, grocery shopping and other things that need to be done. I can't even talk on the phone anymore. I'm not a phone talker to begin with, but I can't talk with my kids like I used to.
Today I have a sink full of dishes, laundry and need to clean my car out....I am a nanny and we have little trips we go on.
I have to wash my mom's hair and bathe her.
When I explain that is what the caregiver is for, she gets quiet and acts like a child. Then I feel guilty.
I feel resentful, frustrated, angry and guilty all at the same time. Then I just cry.
I have a sister in law who thinks helping is cooking dinner every few weeks and having a little party here and laughs everything off.
I am at the very end of a frayed rope. When I go out to the store or even after work, I have thought of just driving away.....just to keep going.
She hates my one dog and lets everyone know it.
I don't know what to do!!!!!
Her health seems to be fine except for her legs. The nurse always says her numbers are great. WTH!!!! Is this going to go on forever? I am 60 and love to enjoy my life.
I know many of you are going to say why did I take her?! I do love her, but never imagined my life would be taken away, even with a caregiver.
No negative or snide remarks please. You'll push me over the edge! lol
Thank you!!!!! and God bless!