Hi Friends. I am struggling this year with the dysfunction in my family with parents. I have been no-contact with narc mom and enabling dad since another aggressive act of family mobbing against me at my nephew's wedding in August. I posted earlier about that whole scene. I had a lovely Thanksgiving yesterday with my husband's side of the family and for the first time nobody told me I was doing something wrong, food wasn't cooked right, house was too small, they dominated conversation, etc. These past few months without my parents have been the happiest of my entire life. I'm starting to feel guilty about it. I wonder if it's just the holidays and all the commercials of large happy family on tv.
My enabling dad told me repeatedly through the years that he did not care whether I ever talked to him again as long as I still always talked to my narc mom. Now I talk to neither of them. They won't have their youngest daughter around for the holidays. Mom has moderate dementia. I know my absence doesn't help things.
I am thinking of calling my dad and telling him I will re-establish contact only during conditions of 1) a turn in health, 2) they need assistance with a practical issue such as bill paying or arranging for home care (no visits, no shared holidays, no casual phone calls). By the way, I am looking for a therapist who specializes in narcissistic personality disorder.
In the meantime, I know others have NPD family. What is your experience with setting boundaries after a "no-contact" period? From what I've read, things tend to get worse. Wondering what others have experienced. Thanks.