I am a 73-year-old woman needing some advice on curing my loneliness. I lost my good friends and have friends but not the same as before. My husband farms and goes to the farm every day and comes home at 6:30 - I try to keep busy but am still terribly lonely. I go do lunch on Fri with friends, joined a Lutheran knitting prayer shawl group, make rosaries and work out M-F but live in a very small town of 4,000 people in Kansas that is slowly dying. Most places I go have very few people and this solitude is getting me down. My husband does not understand. I have 2 children - daughter who lives 2-1/2 hours from here and son whom I help babysit his 8 year-old son from time to time. I have had 4 bladder infections in 5 months but urologist did CT scan and everything is normal but am going to see him tomorrow to see what can be done. I want to go see my daughter but am worried I will have another bladder infection and have to go to a strange dr who wont know my history and it is a lot of trouble to do that so staying near my home. But am just so frustrated the last few days and lonely and feeling sorry for myself - dont know how to have fun or to make my life more enjoyable. Husband enjoys going to farm but I do not like farm - I could go there but would sit in office by myself. Anyway, can anyone suggest something to lift my spirits please? Thanks for your time in listening. I am originally from CA - just have one sibling out there whom I am not very close with - do not want to fly as now I don't want to get on airplane - causes me too much anxiety. Anyway, what does a person like me do in a small town to keep myself happy and satisfied? Lot of people here just are happy doing very little - but not yet for me and dont know what needs to be done to help my out of this depressed cycle. Not familiar with this board so not sure if this is the right forum or not for me but will wait and see if I get an answer. Thank you.
Do you have old family pictures or letters that you could compile into an album, or write down all the old family stories that you can remember?
I have heard of hospitals asking for volunteers to hold babies; and not just babies while they are in the hospital. I spent July 4 with my daughter-in-law (my son had to work) and they have just moved into a new house. She said the best help I could be was to hold their 3-month old baby so she could get unpacking done without having to worry about him. (Both my son and grandson are late babies, so it's fun having a new grandson as well as grown-up ones.) If you like babies, you might ask the hospital if there are new moms at home alone with babies that could use a break during the day.
You should try to get some relief for UTI. Your dr can prescribe a prophylactic antibiotic or a vaginal estrogen cream can help with UTIs. They could also give you an extra script to take when you travel just in case. Then you could travel and visit family or friends.
It seems like you are spending time on household things and doing for others. Which many of us tend to do. You need to find a way to do something for yourself.
I know you mentioned you live in a small town. But maybe even going for daily walks will help clear the mind. If you have access to a computer, watching movies, listening to music, learning a new hobby, reading, meditating, or yoga. I know its easier said than done. I have to force myself to try new things. I am still grieving my dad, and normally after I get into the car and come home, I still cry. It takes time to find a new normal or even a new hobby that excites us.
Take care of yourself. I hope you find something that brings you more joy.
Also, when my mother entered her 70s, she began doing volunteer work. There are many organizations who need volunteers. It's a wonderful way to feel like your life is still fulfilling and meaningful. In my mother's case, after about a year teaching English as a Second Language to immigrants, they offered her a paid job doing it. She did that right up until she got sick. She LOVED it, and she made all kinds of new friends who were there for her during her illness.