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My mother was always pretty demanding but also pretty giving. She has always carried an entitled attitude but again she's always been equally giving.
Since her dementia diagnosis she seems VERY narcissistic. To the point I'm starting to wonder if she's always been that way but maybe as a child I just never questioned it.

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From what I know about this behaviour from working in a medium secure unit and elder care, the condition intensifies with ageing. The childlike behaviour, spiteful and the smearing campiagns to discredit you , pitting persons against each-other gets worse as the elder loses the ability to use youth and charm, they start to use assets to blackmail bribe and control those around them. Unfortunately, the manipulation continues throughout life to the very end! Persons experiencing this should speak with a Professional in this area of PD, its hard to make sense of such cruel behaviour. Remain patient with your elder and set firm boundaries and do not rise to the tiggers. Triggers are things they say and know annoy you!

This PD issue is with the person from a young age and ultimately anyone connected will be harmed.

Firm boundaries are required to protect your own mental health, shared care would be advisable with someone else understanding of this Personality Disorder.

Manipulative acts are very calculated and dangerous at times. Elders have rights and this behaviour could prompt you to reactive negatively. Take good care of yourself and hope this helps!
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I think the answer is yes to both questions. Sometimes dementia intensifies a trait that the person had been suppressing because it was not a pretty trait. Now it comes out because the person cannot have the ability to suppress it.

Similarly, dementia changes how the brain functions, so it can create a new persona never existed before.
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DM2007 Jul 2020
Yes you are right! Brain functioning starts to diminish especially in the frontal lobe. The frontal lobe is where we have the ability to control our impulses as well as making decisions and planning. When this part of the brain atrophies, one can't put the "breaks" on to stop behavior. Thanks for your insightful post 😁
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Yes it does get worse with age. My mother is in her 80s and has become so mean and negative and will not listen to reason. I know her brain is beginning to show signs of dementia. She lives with my father who also has narcissistic tendencies along with dementia. He is 86 and will also not listen to reason. Recently I have completely cut myself off from them completely for my own mental health. They were so hurtful to both my sister and myself. I had no choice. I needed the craziness and abuse to stop. I know someday soon something will happen and they can't go on living the way they do but for me the abuse has stopped! I feel for you in every way. Think about your own mental well being and feel no guilt about what you may need to do. In my heart I have forgiven them for the abuse and no love they have shown me. Forgiveness to me is releasing the anger in my heart and wishing them well. I understand what you are going through. The only person that can take care of you is you! Be well ❤️
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You did well, DM; if you hadn't cut yourself off, you would have become someone you really wouldn't like.....
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I think that some behaviors are right along with the disease. ( I am learning) I have been taking care of my mom for 3 months now full time. She was narcissistic when i was growing up. Now she has short term memory loss and acts pretty much like a child. I have observed "some" behaviors since i have been here that i thought was normal and/or accepted ..when I was little. It been an awakening learning my mother all over again. Also feeling a little bit blessed that I have new awareness's.
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