When my mom went into the nursing home- she made me her POA listing my sister second. The nursing home staff signed, witnessed it and notorized it- I took my copy to the court house and had it filed- then gave copy to the hospital and dr offices.

Few weeks later one of the nh staff inform me that my brother is going to have mother revoke it- nothing else is said about it- and there was not another poa made.
I was never given a copy of the revocation.
Last month my brother took mom to the house for several days at a time so that my sisters and I could not see her-
During that time that she was home she was taken to hospital for a cold which turned into pneumonia it was the next night when the hospital called me because I was listed as her poa-
They were calling to update the "family" on her situation.
Apparently she suffered a heart attack while in a regular room and it is unknown how long she was with out oxygen.
So at 72 mom is brain dead, diabetic and has stage 4 renal failure.
When asked what they should do if she were to have another one- my oldest sisters and I said DNR.

Next day my brother goes to the nursing home and they give him a "copy" of the revocation of poa. Once again- I still have not seem a copy.

Called the court house and he revocation was never filed.
Mom is on a feeding tube, she is a vegetable, does not respond to sound or anything.

I know this is hard for all of us- but I can't imagine myself laying there and being hooked up to machines until my kidneys or the bedsore that is on her bottom worsens.

Anyhow - with that being said .. Do I still have poa? Is it still active?

This question has been closed for answers. Ask a New Question.
Taking your notarised and court-registered POA documentation with you, seek a meeting with the director of the Nursing Home, present him/her with the documentation, and tell him/her that unless he has proven, similarly registered documentation overriding what you are putting on the table you are going to see your mother and you are responsible for her welfare.

You also need to get to the bottom of what your brother has been up to - has he been telling the NH staff all kinds of interesting but fantastic stories? Any idea why he has this attitude on him?

The thing is, that unless your POA *has* been revoked then you have responsibilities to your mother which you cannot simply ignore - you don't have the option to give in unless you have it in writing under your nose that your POA has been revoked.

Do you have a friendly attorney to consult?
Helpful Answer (1)

I am confused... how could a hospital not know that a patient was having a heart attack? Whenever patients are hooked up to monitors, the machines sound an immediate alarm for a Code Blue and within seconds doctors/nurses are in the room manually pumping the heart so that no oxygen is lost to the brain, until the heart can pump on its own. Or did this heart attack happen elsewhere?

Recording a Power of Attorney is a personal choice, not required. One would need to let the whole family know that it was recorded, just in case newer Power of Attorneys are drawn, those would also need to be recorded.
Helpful Answer (0)

Oh my, your poor mother, to have a stroke, diabetes and kidney failure at such a relatively young age. I know this has all been very hard on you.

I have NEVER in my life, been to visit a relative in a nursing home, or hospital or other living arrangement, been denied that visit due to the fact that I do not carry the POA. I have not got POA over anybody, at all, except implied for my husband. I just don't understand the family dynamics at play where someone would lord it over others and deny access to someone. Just baffles me.

That being said, what kind of nurse wouldn't allow a mother to see her child unless there was some sort of legal restraining order in place and hanging on the wall in plain sight for all to see?? I can't see them having the time or patience to even worry about POA's. And call the police? Really? This truly baffles me. I guess I have to thank all my brothers and sisters for being reasonable people (even though I don't always think they are).

I am truly sorry you are having to deal with this situation. All I can say is to be sure your own affairs are in order so that your own children (or whomever) will not have to deal with this sort of thing.
Helpful Answer (1)

My mother had a major stroke before that left her confined to a wheel chair, but when she went to the nh it was because she had just been hospitaluzed for kidney failure- and it was recommended that she go to the nh so that she would have the care she needed and they could monitor her diabetes closer.

As for the revocation- I never saw it- if it was revoked then it was done back in the summer and once again- I never recieved a copy.

In November when I went to see mom on of the nurses on duty refused to let me see her- even though she said that she wanted to see me-
They told me that I was not allowed to be up there- and that I DID NOT HAVE POA.

When I asked who did and that I wanted to see proof, and I asked what kind of POA It was and the nurse on duty said that since it was the weekend he could not get a copy if it, that it was none if my business and that there is only 1 kind of poa-
Then instead of calling the police this time- they called my brother. So at this time I thought that maybe mom had made him her poa.. But turns out now we find out that she did not appoint Any one else-
Helpful Answer (0)

If there is no record of your power of attorney's having been revoked, and if it was already in force, then it remains in force.

I am a little confused by your sentence about the NH's having given your brother a copy of the revocation. Would it not be the other way around? Who told you this?

Call the court again and seek their confirmation of your authority, perhaps; but unless it has been signed and sealed that your POA has been revoked, or superseded by a further valid appointment or by guardianship, then it hasn't been revoked and you're still "it".
Helpful Answer (1)

If your brother went to the nursing home and got a copy of the POA revocation, why can't you do the same?

Just curious, why was your mother in a nursing home at age 72?
Why could you not see your mother in December when she was at home?
Helpful Answer (1)

Thanks- maybe I didn't explain it correctly.. The poa that my mother signed was a durable poa. It specifies clearly about medical and financial decisions.

I did have it recorded incase it was ever questioned and We had my older sister named as second - that way no one person is responsible for making decisions on their own.

I asked a local family law atty today and she said that unless the NH who seems to be the only one that has a copy of this and it has been since may- can come up with a copy for me showing that I signed / received or have a reciept from where they sent it certified and since they did not have it recorded or given to hospital or Drs and now brother was given one after mom had her attack. That mine is still active.
The poa that mom gave to me was signed witnessed and notorized at the nursing home- that supposedly were the ones that wrote up the revocation for mom and same notary notorized it - mom did not replace that poa with any other.
Helpful Answer (0)

Apparently you don't have POA. It is not necessary to file a POA with the county clerk. Your mother chose to appoint him, he does not have to show that document to you, just to the NH and hospital. She would have also filled out advanced directives as part of the NH admission process, including yes or no on a feeding tube. Apparently she wanted one or they would not have put one in. Your mother is the victim of her own choices. Your brother, even as POA, can only abide by her advanced directives. That's a heavy load for all of you , so sorry.
Helpful Answer (1)

This question has been closed for answers. Ask a New Question.

Ask a Question

Subscribe to
Our Newsletter