How do you locate one? Do they help or harm?
My mother is 90 y/o and I will be going back to work. She lives with me, there is no family left to care for her except me. I suggested we get a care companion or someone to come in during the day to check on her. I will be gone 9-10 hours a day. She said she will not allow someone to come in the house, she's perfectly fine. She has forgotten her CHF meds 3 times in about a week. She sleeps all day when she's to take the meds. She is a bully, I have lost control of my life/house. I'm going to counseling to seek some help from the stress and to work thru some of the issues. For awhile she would threaten me that she was going to call the police because of abuse. I told the doctor about it on one of her visits with her there. She told him I make things up. It quit for awhile, but again today she said she was going to call 911. I will not allow this in my house. I made a call to senior services to see if I could get a case manager or some third party her to help and protect myself. I am not abusing her in any way, in fact I wait on her hand and foot, it's never enough. I've had enough...

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Frustrated, I'm sorry if this is going to sound harsh, but to protect yourself, your mother may need to be in a facility.

You are correct. Your mother is bullying you. Except that she has dementia, so it's not that she's being mean, it's just that her brain is broken. However, as you see, she can still wreak havoc.

I would ask her doctor sbout meds for depression and anxiety if she's not already getting them, and either a case manager or social worker to help you identify a proper facility for her.
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Hi I am a social work student, not a social worker yet but I will offer my thoughts. A social worker "connects the dots" in regards to patient, client, family members etc. A case manager (as far as I know) does the same thing but from a medical standpoint. Many social workers do case management. It sounds to me like what you are really needing for your mom is an aide. An aide can come for several hours each day or in some cases all day. Some can be billed through insurance, some are based on a sliding scale. The aide can provide mental stimulation, administer meds, help with bathroom habits etc. An added benefit for you is that if your mom is giving misleading statements or false statements, you have technically a witness. Google "visiting angels" in your area and hopefully you will get a better idea of what they will do and how they can help you and your mom - love to you.
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