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Caregiver is concerned that if we don't have a DNR taped to the refrigerator or somewhere else that she will a) get in trouble if Mom codes and she doesn't do anything or b) the ambulance is called and they have to do it if we don't have paperwork showing she doesn't want a DNR.

I have found a form for our state and am going to talk to Mom tonight about it and if she wants a feeding tube. She has an advanced directive and I need to look at it to make sure it covers everything.

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Contact your Mom's doctor and ask for a POLST form (Physicians Orders for Life Sustaining Treatment). It may be called something else in your state, but your doc should know what your talking about. This is a form signed by your doc that addresses CPR, Medical Interventions, Antibiotic use and Medically Assisted Nutrition. In the event your Mom would code you or the aide would hand this form or a copy of it to the EMTs and they would know exactly what to do or not do. Your aide is probably talking about a form such as this. Advanced Directives are great but not good enough. I have the original POLST form on my bedroom wall. I carry a copy of it with me at all times and the Adult Day Center Mom goes to also has a copy of it. Having this form has eased my mind tremendously. It is very clear what should and should not be done for Mom.
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I have one on my mom and her doctor signed the form. I have copies filed with the local hospital where she'd be taken, have a copy in my purse, and have a copy on her refrigerator. You only have one quick moment for the EMTs to make the right decision. Better to have copies available everywhere than have someone make the wrong decision and start resuscitation if that's not what your loved one wants!
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I think the OP was confusing the terminology. Do Not Resuscitate = DNR

By posting it in a prominent location, the paramedics will know whether or not to try CPR or other measures to keep her alive. It's also a good idea to keep a list of medications (prescribed and OTC) that Mom takes nearby to give them. Along with a Xerox copy of insurance and Medicare cards, front and back. By having all these things together in one place, a lot of time searching and frustration can be avoided.
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Yes, look at the advanced directive. But realize that in an emergency no one is going to read that document. It is wonderful and necessary when dealing with hospital personnel, hospice, etc., but if EMTs are called in, they are going to act NOW.

That is the value of having a valid, signed DNR on the fridge.

I'm a little confused, though. Who "doesn't want a DNR"?
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