Hi, A few months ago my mother who is 61 was diagnosed with dementia and the first stages of Alzheimer's. She has been through a lot of trauma this past year she lost my father and the year before that she lost my brother who was murdered since then her health went down hill and she got severely depressed and ended up in a behavorial health center and from there she was admitted to a skilled nursing home where I'm trying to get her approved for long term care because there is no one that can care for her while I work and I was told that she needs 24 hour care. When she was at the mental illness place I believe that she was over medicated and she kept repeating that same questions every time I talked to her on the phone or went to visit her, since she has moved the to the nursing home she is able to carry on a decent conversation and walk with out any help but I do notice her short term memory is somewhat gone. Is this normal for people with dementia and Alzheimer's to go through these different stages? I'm new to all of this and really don't understand how this illness works. I also have been feeling really guilty about having to put her in a nursing home at such a young age and it just breaks my heart when I go to visit her and she doesn't want me to leave and to watch her walk away just makes me feel so horrible, like I'm doing something wrong. I'm only 36 and really don't have much help from my family in regards to taking care of my mother and my mom really doesn't like where she is at and is always crying to come home. I'm not sure what to do to try and handle all of this and convince her that she is better off where is at where she can be properly taken care of by professionals.

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I think it's a great thing that you got your mom to a place where she is protected and cared for. I'd read a lot about Alzheimers and dementia. That will provide you with the information that will help you in anticipating and accepting your mom's behavior. Various illnesses and injuries may cause dementia. Alzheimers is one of them.

You say that she doesn't like where she is. It's possible that your mom might not like anywhere that she might be living. Dementia patients are often unhappy in their own homes and some constantly ask to go home, even when living in their home. Others even wander and are constantly searching for a place that only exists in their mind. You were right in not leaving your mom home alone.

Still, I might examine what amenities they have at the facility she is living. Do they offer her amusing activities that she is able to participate in? Is she really in a Nursing Home or is it a Memory Care facility? Does she need skilled nursing care or would she function in Memory Care Assisted Living? I would explore if the facility is a good fit for her. Perhaps it is, but if not, you could try to locate one that is. I wish you both all the best.
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I found this section on Aging Care that might be helpful. Just scroll down to the articles you feel are relevant.
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