Hi, I'm new here. My mother, 78, had a stroke two months ago and was lucky she survived and took her only 2 weeks to feel better and walk and eat all on her own, normal but weaker. After that, doctors said she has some aneurism bubbles in her brain and high blood pressure so we kept her on the prescribed medication.
Last sunday she collapsed and had a massive bleed in her brain. In 10 minutes she was taken to ER and put on life support. After they did her scans, two different doctors told me she has no chance to ever be normal again and will die without life support whenever taken off of it and most likely even on life support. They told me she will progress to brain dead very soon.
Every day the last three days, every nurse and both doctors of different shifts at the ICU told me bluntly there is zero chance of her ever being able to walk or feed herself, knowing anyone or responding to anything ever again with such massive bleed in all half of right brain.
My sisters were very scared to make the decision even-though they knew the reality, and I was afraid they would have waited maybe too long so I went in there alone today and asked the doctor one more time and he said I think it is the right decision reassuring me she is progressing to brain dead but not totally there yet. I told him to take out the breathing tube and I decided to stay in the room and hold my mother. I told them to give her morphine and she died within 45 minutes after the life support was removed. It was the most terrifying, heartbreaking thing to see her trying to gasp for air watching her body fight so hard to stay alive but she eventually died with me holding her hand and her head.
I'm not sure if I did the right thing. I can't sleep, I can't eat, but I did what I would wish anyone would do for me in that situation.
I told 2 of my sisters about my decision afterwards because they are stronger, but the other two sisters I told them she died while on life support.
It's something I'm gonna have to live with for the rest of my life. I truly, deeply love my mother. All my siblings are married with kids and I'm her only son and and have no kids nor am I married. She was my closest person on earth and I was her closest person on earth to her.
I don't know, I hope she is resting in peace. I cried and I prayed till she died and watched her body turn cold. I wished she would have died in one second but instead was the longest most terrifying 45 minutes I will ever live, but in my heart if I ever come to a closure that I made the right choice it will be all worth it.
I hope God and my mother will see that I had the best of intention for the person I loved the most on this earth and most likely I will never love another human being this much.