In one month, I'm moving my mom into our home. We have a small house, 3 bedrooms and 1 bath. We have to rearrange half our house, move our office so that Mom can have the most convenient room closest to the bathroom.
We're both fairly young and we're childless in our mid to late 30's. Due to my parent's poor retirement planning and lack of savings, we can't keep Mom in assisted living anymore. Being the only child with a stable home, I volunteered to take her in. My brothers are over 300 miles away. One helps financially, but I'm estranged from the other. So, no one is nearby for immediate relief if needed. I'm anxious and scared to be responsible for her health, but who else will? She's not social so Adult Day Care is out.
Mom has Type 1 Diabetes, a swollen foot that needs constant exercise and massaging, her kidneys are stable, but could fail. It seems to be OK with proper diet. She suffers from incontinence, but is strong enough to perform her own transfers and wheel herself around. She makes a mess occasionally, and that needs to be mopped up right away when it happens. She's not suffering from dementia, but can be quite stubborn in her ways and LOVES to YELL when she wants your attention. Seriously, it drives me bonkers. I ask her to "ask nicely", but she doesn't get it.
I've seen to her care briefly in spurts. Managing her medication and food and light cleaning. And in the past she's had care-takers handle major chores, bathing and such. Now she'll be under my care 24/7 and I know it's going to be different.
My husband and I work full-time in our day jobs and when we come home, we're working on our small business as illustrators. We don't intend on losing the ground we've covered in our dream job. Also, it will be hard to have a loss of privacy. I'm worried how this will affect us intimately and personally. How do we find time for ourselves while still being attentive caregivers?
So, from those out there, did you eventually hire help? At max, I can probably only afford 9 hours a week of home-care help. Do you think that's enough to cover for someone who can clean,dust, change bedding and handle her bathing?
Any experts out there on IHSS?