It's official... the ALF just is NOT going to help out, and I WILL be opening a state investigation (a second one, I should say. The social worker from Dad's post-stroke hospital stay contacted the state when I told her about the lying incident and the oxygen).
So, despite me sending emails asking about incontinence care services and how much extra it would be to get staff support on this, Dad has repeatedly been left to stew in his own excrement. Literally. On days when I have to work both jobs back to back, he has either sat in the same soiled undergarment for hours or attempted to change it himself, often getting confused. I've visited and he's had on just boxer shorts, pants with no boxer shorts, no pants or underwear at all... he gets confused.
In addition, he will remove the soiled undergarments and leave them on the floor for who knows how long until I can come and clean it up. It's COMPLETELY RIDICULOUS!!!!
Oddly enough, it appears that the ALF got my intent to vacate email as they have been celebrating Dad's departure (I've personally overheard them -- no worries, the feeling is mutual), so they're just ignoring Dad's needs which is just unacceptable.
I take pictures and videos every time I visit as documentation for the investigation, and I just go in and change him myself. I've been "popping up" at random times and sure enough... they're not reminding him about meals. It's like they just left him.
I'm SO glad to be moving him out. As for the "bowel issues". Now that I've been asking to see the med admin documentation daily, the "accidental" over administration of laxatives / stool softeners / suppositories has stopped and he's on the road to regularity (at least for him).
Due to me having to leave work daily to cover what the ALF SHOULD be doing, I didn't have time to place him in temporary care. Talk about toughing things out. I hate I moved him. I really thought I was making things better, but we live and learn.
So ONE WEEK TO GO!!!!!! Things are looking up. All of my planning seems to be lining up. The caregivers are ready and know what to do, the house is ready... I can't wait!!!
I still wonder if I would have any financial recourse here. I paid $975 "service fee" for the past four months and they've not done much. So glad this is almost over.