...it seems like a different issue every day at the ALF. If you've been keeping up, you already know that I've been REALLY kicking myself for moving Dad to an ALF closer to where I live. As nice as they are, they just CAN'T handle Dad's needs.
I just can't bring myself to place Dad in a NH that we can afford. We struggle (correction I STRUGGLE) to pay for the ALF now, and my research proved that Memory Care would be $1,000 more than he's paying at any of the private pay facilities, and the government facilities are not up to my standards (snobbish, I know).
So, I've decided, much to my dismay, to "bring him home". Once my apartment lease is up, I am going to move into a ranch style home and between Adult Day Care (A DIFFERENT ONE THAN HE WAS GOING TO BEFORE) and VA Home Health Aides and a trusted friend of mine with long-term CNA experience that would help out a couple days a week, this would be MUCH more economical and we may be able to avoid some of the "mishaps" Dad keeps having due to him needing a higher level of care.
He's starting to forget how to operate his motorized scooter, and he refuses to use the pull cord, so today he tried to walk out into the hall to find someone to help him with his scooter and HE FELL!!!!!! He says he's OK, but of course I'm having the Hospice nurse to pay him a visit. I'm stuck at work until 5 and can't check on him until then, but my nerves are in knots.
Here's the clincher... I still have three months on my apartment lease. I've gone back and forth in my brain on whether I should break my lease (to the tune of $1,800) and put a security deposit down on a home ($1,100) to go ahead and make this transition but that's a LOT of money. Strangely, I feel guilty about "taking" half of this expense from the money Dad told me not to touch. It seems wasteful.
My initial plan was to work extra at the second job so I can save up some money to pay movers, etc. and put a little extra back because I'm going to HAVE to quit the second job to be with Dad, but I worry about Dad CONSTANTLY. It affects EVERYTHING I do, and my thought is that if I wait, I can put together a solid transition plan.
But when stuff like this happens, I just want to say HE** with it and move him now. Any advice?