We are about to change our residency to Arizona from Ohio since we spend 7 months there. My mother lives in Ohio and does not want to go with us to AZ in the fall. Don't know what to do!!!!

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"Can you go to an AL/Nursing/ Memory care in a state that you are not a resident of?" Its not that you can't so much but there are so many factor's involved with u. Medicare goes from state to state but supplimentals don't. Moving Mom will probably be permanent because her decline will be steady. Looks like there is no way for her to spend 6 months in Ohio and 6 months in AZ. She would need to pay for her Condo and a place to live in AZ too. The other factor is her Dementia. She will not be able to live on her own much longer. Do you want to do her care from 1600+ miles away? In moving her she will lose her Ohio residency status but I see no way you can avoid it.

Your profile says you have seen a decline in Mom. This will continue. Yes, she wants to stay in familiar surroundings but are your siblings willing to take on her care. If so, then find a nice AL before you leave because in my opinion, even in the early stages a person suffering from Dementia should not be alone. That way most of her needs are met. It just means a family member needs to make sure she has what the AL doesn't provide and visit. If this is not feasible, than it's now what Mom needs not what she wants. You need to look ahead. Her Dementia will worsen and she will need 24/7care. In this event do "you" want her close or 1600 miles away?

I am all for "I am the Caregiver so things go my way". Sounds harsh saying it that way but people lose the ability to have it their way when being taken care by others who have and need lives of their own. Their are always compromises but in the long run the Caregiver should have the say. You can't keep 2 places going forever. You are going to tire of it. So you have picked AZ, no problem. But to care for Mom she needs to move with you. I suggest finding a nice AL nearby. Putting her in a place of her own may not be doable unless you are willing to be there all the time as her Dementia causes her decline. Believe me things can change overnight. The nurses where I worked called it an episode. My Mom forgot how to use a phone and a remote. She left a pan on the Stove. My nephew lived with her at the time but after a UTI she came to stay with me. Then I placed her in a nice AL.

Big decisions here. I hope u have POA, makes things easier.
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Reply to JoAnn29

As I understand your situation you are "snowbirds" in AZ from Ohio and you are changing your official residency for tax and voting purposes. I assume your mother is in Ohio and wishes to remain there. If she lives in an Assisted Living apartment or in Memory care or a nursing home in Ohio she is a resident of Ohio, it doesn't matter what your residency is or where you live. She can live in Ohio and you can live wherever you want. She can even stay with you in AZ for extended periods and not have to change her residency as long as she has a domicile (apartment, house, living situation such as a assisted living unit). If I were solving this problem I'd lean to making your move to AZ and having your MOM move to an assisted living unit.

I can't tell from your question if your Mom currently lives WITH you and that she would have to move into an assisted living situation and out of your home only for the period of time you are in AZ. If that is your plan it will be very disruptive and potentially expensive. It would be better to permanently move your mother into assisted living in Ohio so she doesn't have the disruption of a new living situation twice a year to say nothing of the worry of being on waiting lists, entrance and move costs with each new living situation.
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Reply to jkm999

I moved my mom 700 miles. She was still able to fly but now her ID expired and she is locked in. Make sure the I'D still works but any state changes will require birth certificate and social Security card. You should check with her AL to see how may day notice there will have to be. Many ALs require new enrollment fees . If she is changing residences for part of the year and you want her to return to Ohio, some of the best ones have wait lists of several months. So you will have to enroll and disenroll with fees each time. Also add in furniture moves. Also ensure that her bank account will not have to be changed or ensure one can be opened even with memory loss.
The biggest issue is if she will need to enroll in a new Medicare plan if she holds an advantage plan. Determine if 7 months constitutes permanent residency.
IF you move back and forth and you plan to keep her in one state, any disposable supplies that you cannot inventory and replaced will cost more if supplies are added to the bill. Lastly, are those doctor appointments or specialist appointments if there is no medical group in the facility. You will have to make transportation arrangements.
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Reply to MACinCT

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