My brother had a massive stroke a few years ago (in his 40's at the time). His wife tends to be loud, controlling, and condescending. I've often felt as though she's trying to make me, and others, feel like 2nd class citizens. She has said many unkind things about my brother, and is quick to lose her temper, not just around him but in general. In what seems entirely unfair, she's also very successful at her job. For many years, we all overlooked this behavior. I guess in an effort to keep peace, but also, I think no one wanted to take her on. So, we just sort of rolled our eyes and moved forward. My brother is very funny, and frequently made jokes about it all. Then, he started having strange symptoms. She didn't take any of them seriously, and even spoke about them with disdain. Shortly thereafter, he had a massive stroke, that has left him debilitated in many ways. A few years after that when my mom was very ill, and close to the end of her life, she voiced her concern about my brother's state, and how he wasn't treated well. During this awful period when she was so ill, she spoke more frankly and openly about this and other issues than I'd ever heard her speak before. Trying to acknowledge her worry, but also to relieve her mind a little, I mentioned that my sister in law took perfect physical care of him. I'll never forget the look on her face after I said that. She just looked at me very soberly, and said 'well, there's more to life than that.' In a way it was validating because for years, every time I mentioned how unkind she'd been to my brother, me, or my parents, everyone just ignored me, or said 'yeah, but she's so organized and wonderful in other ways.' Finally, someone admitted how awful this person was!!!! But, it has left me wondering if her cruelty could've brought on a stroke. I should also mention that there was an auto accident, many years prior to the stroke, with an ensuing subtle decline in my brother's abilities. I know no one has the answer to our particular family issue, but just wondering what others thought about or had experienced in regard to spouses of manipulative people having poor health. Is this real, or my imagination?