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Husband has been mooching off her for years and needs his own care. How to send him packing to his own family? Taking care of our Mom is one thing but taking care of him (not our father) is more work than Mom for zero dollars.

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This strikes a chord with me. My (second) husband and I have been married for 15 years. We have very unequal resources. When we retire, he will have SS.

When I retire, I will have a pension, several retirement funds and SS.

My children have been brought up to understand that all my monies will be spent in retirement and on caregiving for husband and me. They are NOT to expect an inheritance. It's the way I was brought up.

Did your mother make provision for your stepfather before she became ill?
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Oneofnine, what are you proposing exactly? Putting mom in care or just booting out stepdad and leaving mom in her home?

His kids give a crap about him? Would mom cooperate?
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I take full-time care of my mom but I also worry about and care for my step father. Mom lives with me at this point, but we go to their home once a week, fix him a good meal, leave left overs and make a few things he can grab and go. He can still drive and do some things. I just think someone has to be there for him. His kids live in another state.
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Sounds like the adult stepchildren don't have a good relationship with second husband.
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Will your mother agree to divorcing her husband?
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