All I can say is ...I'm finished, spent...she has taken the life that she gave me.....played with it, danced on it, wiped her feet on it......and is slowly and masterfully taking it from me.
I Took full responsibility for her for 13 years ...after my father died. EVERYTHING.
Now, at 93, she can't remember to take her pills, eat, can't wash her clothes, can't handle her bills,...and last month she went to assisted living of her own free will. A very nice, safe, well regarded assisted living facility. She had previously been in the same facility in independent living.
A recent email conversation:
ME: You are in a very safe place... people up all night right down the hall. You have a beeper in the necklace to call someone for any reason....they bring you food and your medicine... the girls there are all nice and do a good job.
>>> They can come Every 2 hours in the night if you want them to check on you. We told them not to because they scared you... but maybe you’d feel better if they check on you during the night?
>>> Let me know and we can change it back to having a nighttime check .
MOTHER: You know, have a nightly bed check is NOT like having a friend who visits. Do you understand that I live a very barren life,
>> , and it’s not easy living. Thanks for the concern! I don’t know why I’m even alive! who cares!
>> I’d rather go back and live in a Neighborhood as a real person deserves to live. But of course I’d have no friends there’
>> because I’ve been moving too much.
>> I hope I have taken up too much of your life. Although it was interesting while you were growing up! Remembering is all I have now. remembering.
ME: Are you insinuating I am responsible for your barren, friendless life?