My mother... is a difficult woman. We've never had a great relationship. I feel like she's going to destroy my marriage, because of how difficult, demanding, & ungrateful she is.
I "rescued" her from a narcissistic husband, about 2 years ago, which meant I had to bring her to my property. I bought a large camper for her to live in, so she wouldn't be in my house... She's eternally ungrateful, demanding, demeaning, and absolutely resistant to everything that could improve both our lives. It seems like she purposely does "little things" to create drama, or to rebel against boundaries I've set. She doesn't pay attention to anything, because she doesn't care about anything, or anyone, besides herself. She acts like she expects me to fix all of her problems & bow to her every demand.
We constantly have to do stupid things, like "fix" things on her cellphone, or her tv settings, or her AC thermostat. Not because she actually can't, but because she seems to enjoy "getting help".
I'm a nervous wreck because of her. I don't want this position. I wish I could send her away but she's still functional enough to live on her own. If I put her in government housing, it'll be worse because she is too irresponsible with money.
She has my husband going to the store multiple times a week, which is wearing on his sanity. We live in the country, so going to town, to a store, takes up a lot of time & he just wants to be able to come straight home from work. (I don't do shopping because of my anxiety issues). She can't drive anymore, so she can't take herself, and our city doesn't have any good public transport. I'm not even sure if what they do have, services the area we're in. Additionally, she can't be trusted with her own money. She will blow it & then expect us to cover her for the rest of the month, which we cannot do. She doesn't even contribute to the utility bills, but uses just as much as we do.
Last week, I told her that he would no longer be making multiple store trips & would only be going on Fridays, from now on. (He had been going on Mondays, too, to get groceries for his disabled aunt, but that is no longer necessary). When I told her this, she said, "Whatever" & sent a huge list anyway. (I had asked her to keep the list short that day).
Friday came around & her list consisted of 2 items. I asked if she was sure that's all she needed. She replied, "I guess so"...
Well, today, she sent a huge list. It's Monday.
I don't even know what to say to that, because I already made it perfectly clear, when I told her before.
The issue, I think, is that she doesn't pay attention to what I say, because she DOESN'T CARE. And if I try to explain, she just gets passive aggressive & sarcastic. Defensive. She has always been this way.
I don't know how to tell this woman anything because she seems to fight all things that make sense. She seriously got offended because we want to do shopping only one day a week!
I want to tell her she'll have to wait until Friday, but then she wouldn't have enough food & medicines to get through the week, so I can't do that.
Any ideas on how to deal with this woman? I'm very close to just running away & leaving her sitting in that camper...
I already barely had anything to do with her, before this. I don't like her. She's so hateful! (Always has been).
I am truly just waiting for the day that I can let a nursing home take her. I'm SICK of how she's treated me, all my life!