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He is 66, I am 60. He has mild AD. He is physically fit, rides his motorcycle with friends, goes to bible study by himself...


I asked him if he wanted to stay home or go away for a week with me and my sister. He thought about it and said stay home.


Should I leave him?


Thanks - Cat

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Reply to BobbingWren
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Thank you all for your suggestions. I really do appreciate the advice. I don’t think I’ll leave him alone for that long. Might try a weekend.
Love this forum, everyone is so helpful!
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Reply to Catwinter
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You're only worried because he has been formally diagnosed with Alzheimer's Disease and you don't want to be liable, yes? You don't have any actual, present concerns about his ability to manage on his own for seven days?

He's still leading his normal life, there isn't yet any question about his legal competence, you've asked him and he's expressed what sounds to me like a rational preference - not meaning to be rude! - I should go ahead.

Belt and braces: make sure everything domestic is organised and labelled, tell neighbours and his closest friends that he'll be on his own, make sure somebody's got your contact number in case of emergency. And have a lovely time :)

PS I think I might ask him to keep off the bike, just to please you, just for this week. There is such a thing as asking for trouble...
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Reply to Countrymouse
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Isthisrealyreal Mar 3, 2019
I completely agree.

If he is able to ride a motorcycle he is able to manage for a week.

I always make homemade frozen dinners and stock healthy foods so I know my love is at least eating healthy and he is perfectly healthy and capable. But I feel better knowing he is or could.
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Do you have a child/children that could checkup on him?
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Reply to JoAnn29
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Great questions from earlier posters, Catwinter. He sounds pretty functional, but if you're concerned (rightly) of an issue, perhaps ask a friend to stop by daily, friends to divvy up stopping by occasionally or stay with him overnight, or hire a caregiver for a few hours a day to check on him?
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Reply to MountainMoose
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Without knowing how far along he is, it’s hard to answer but you must have some reservations? Here’s just some random thoughts to consider. Do you leave him home alone for long periods during the day? How does he do? Can he get his own meals or reheat something? Does he get lost? Does he still have good judgment as to what to do in an emergency? A week is a long time...Have you ever gone away for a shorter time without him, even just an overnight? If not, could you try it as an experiment? Leave a note for him to do X, Y and Z while you’re gone and see if he does them? Could one of his motorcycle buddies stay with him, or vise versa? Or at least check in on him? Do his frienda know of his condition? Any other family that could check on him? Is your trip with your sister close enough you could get home quickly if you needed to, or a far off destination that involves air travel and an expensive last minute flight home? Lots to think about.
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Reply to rocketjcat
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First and gut reactions is...If he can still function the way you describe then I would think there would not be a problem.

Second reaction is...why does he want to stay home? Is it because unfamiliar places are starting to bother him? That he knows his way around your neighborhood but might get lost going someplace else? Meeting people he knows is alright but meeting people he does not know is confusing or possibly embarrassing to him? Or is it simply he does not want to go where you are going or be with the people you are going to be with?

Third gut reaction....You are also questioning his ability and are nervous at the prospect of him staying by himself where you can not "monitor" where he is and what he does. (says he is going to bible study, should be home at 4 but does not get home until 5..was he lost or just talking)
And final..if you did not have doubts about this you would not have posted the question.

Maybe I am way off base in your case but I am in the "better safe than sorry" camp.
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Reply to Grandma1954
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