I need some good, pragmatic advice.
Question: Can I justify using a loved one's money here and there to stay afloat?
When I tell my father who is a former businessman and tough nut to crack, that my ability to earn money is diminished due to the hours I spend managing his care/finances/homes, etc., I am met with a steely cold stare. All sibs are well off, I am not. I've been given complete control over all health care, finances, homes, everything. Unless I make an incredibly stupid mistake, he is not even close to ever outliving his money. Other than a sudden and unexpected burst of interest over the holidays, sibs haven't helped, and one was even open about showing up to hospital just before visiting hours were over, just to avoid spending time with him. One of my problems is this: this sounds pathetic, but I am afraid of them. They vacillate between resembling caring people, and corporate psychopaths. All of them, my dad included. Although I have a professional degree and am the most educated in the family, I earn the least amount of money. I have a solid, mediocre (at best) paying career. Most months, I am short on money due to various factors: appliance breaks down, basement floods, one of my adult children who struggles with depression needs gas and it's -25 outside. I could write a book on this topic alone. I should say that my dad offers from time to time to pay for an expense (i.e. appliance), and has offered for us to use his vacation home. I can't afford the shuttle to get from the damned airport, so haven't taken him up on it yet.
If I push the $ issue and openly ask for reimbursement on a regular basis, my very real concern is that he'll give this duty to my sib, who will definitely pass it off to the spouse, whom I don't trust. Would it be so wrong of me to pay for things here and there from his account? I am struggling with this. It doesn't seem ethical. This is a labor of love, but also I can see that I am being exploited, and am truly running on empty financially, and emotionally. One option is to say nothing, and move to a small apartment. Work my life around his, knowing that I will eventually be taken care of. I'm managing wealth, but cannot afford the #$%^! taxi from the airport.