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Hugemom, you have it right, no one else will - so I have backed off some, and mom pays people or the church has someone who will help, with all the many things she wants/needs. If I had kept trying to do them all, I'd be dead by now....
Loosing patience with a loved one who has any form of dementia can be expected. It is simply a matter of seeing them for who you KNEW they were! And, processing who they are now. This process takes a while to accept. Even when it is accepted, we can still "slip". Its ok to get frustrated, as long as you do not take it out on the loved one. And, the blessing to this tedious process, is that it gets easier in time. You are more patient, loving, and forgiving. You learn tricks to make an issue workable, and not so frustrating.
If you are able to... take naps when she naps. Eat when she eats. Take her with to do errands, if possible. Getting out is one of the best forms of relaxation for you both! Drive thru to get an ice cream cone!
Best of luck to you and all of us "caregivers"! It is a long road, rewards are few, except to the person who you care for.
I have lost my patience with my parents a couple of time because they were in denial of their age [both in their 90's] and they refused to move from their house into something more elder friendly. And I couldn't help them with everything because I was a senior myself, plus I refused to give up my career.
When I read that 40% of caregivers die leaving behind the love one they are caring, that love one was usually placed into continuing care and lives for many more years. I decided I needed to take action because I was ready to crash and burn. My problem was I didn't set boundaries soon enough and it was a tug of war trying to say "no, I can't possibly do that" without the guilt crashing down on me.
Hopefully if you need more help at home, and if Mom can afford this, hire professional caregivers.... if Mom will let them in the door, my Mom didn't.... or hire professional house cleaners. That would help to give you a little bit of "me time".
To avoid burnout make sure caring for your mom isn't all you do. Read a book, watch a movie, get out for a few hours regularly, have lunch with a friend. Don't let the burden of caregiving overwhelm you and dictate your life.