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Moved my 92 year old mother from Ft. Lauderdale to Lexington Ky . LIved Alone for 30 years, and loves to be alone... After 2 major falls, and 2 months in rehab. Lives in nice Independent Living in Lexington now. Very tough minded, independent, highly critical. Now demands to go back to her empty condo. Can i prevent her? Calling airlines etc.... She probably could pass a dementia test, and appear lucid. She is fighting me each day, and every week some major issue, ER visits, took too much meds, and just a chronic complaining person that has drained me. I'm too weary to fight anymore and almost ready to say "just go"... Can i send her with stipulations that this is it, and she will never come back up here again,and will go to Medicaid Nursing Home and be all alone.

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It's very clear that your mom moving to Florida would be a disaster. I agree with J Gibbs, mom is probably very foggy on the reality of this move. I would do everything possible to stop her, diversion, fibbing etc. Let her yell and whine. That sucks but it's easier than dealing with all her adventures and problems long distance.
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Your mom may sincerely believe that she would be happier if she moved back to Florida. But it is more likely that what she would really like is to move back in time ten years or so, to when she could drive, enjoy her own company, and avoid ER visits. She will be surprised and unhappy when she realizes she can't drive in FL, and her health is not miraculously improved.

Is she "sundowning" regularly? What is that behavior like? Does she have other signs of dementia? Dementia is progressive, so if that is what she has the time will come when independent living will not be suitable, in FL or in KY. Then it will be especially important that she live near you, so you can monitor her care in a care center.
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You say she has sundowning and psychosis. I'm not sure why the doctors wouldn't support you on her being unable to make proper decisions regarding her affairs. It sounds like a lot has happened since she was able to handle her own affairs.

What would happen if you just let her handle things for herself? Would she actually be able to arrange for the move, flights, etc. What if you just said that things were in the works and placated her each time she asks about it? If she has dementia, she may likely forget about it eventually.

And if you just don't want to handle matters on her behalf any longer, why not let someone else do it? If 'she's incompetent, the court can appoint someone to do it and that way, it's not something you have to worry about.
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In fla, My mom drove up to 5 months ago. Did everything, but got more difficult.
Big fall risk, had various falls over years.

April; my brother, her son dies of drug od
June: fell in bathroom, laid there 20 hrs
Rehab 30 days
July: fell in bathroom, sliced arm open ,minor concussion. Serious mental changes lasted 1 Month
Rehab 30 days
Convinced her to move to Lexington near us. Moved all furniture $8k cost

Lexington: 3-4 ER, Visits, accidental med od, UTI, psychosis from sundowning....
Just super high maintenance...

Now she can get really mean, and just daily pounding me to move back.

She is cold if temp less than 75!
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Our elders can be one stubborn lot, can't they. Curious, how were you able to get your Mom to move from Florida in the first place?

Sometimes we have to let them do what they want if they are able to have times of clear thinking, and wait for the crises to happen.

When your Mom lived in Florida, how did she get around? For groceries, or doctor appointments? I assume she still owns the condo. Glad she didn't sell it right away. I kept my Dad's house off the market until I was sure he liked where he was living.

What are the ER visits you are dealing with? It's tough getting older, the lost of freedom, especially driving, no more just hopping in the car to drive somewhere. Most of one's friends have either moved or passed on. And all those aches and pains. Eyesight failing, hearing going, hair thinning, feet hurt, and that crazy music the younger generation is listening to.
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