My 89-year-old mother lives in a Continuous Care community - where you can go from Independent Living, into Assisted Living, into Skilled Nursing or Memory care, etc. On Nov 8th, we moved her from Independent into Assisted Living. She was enthusiastic about the move because she was so depressed and isolated in Independent Living. Her dementia was making it very difficult for her to socialize and get by without a lot of help. Unfortunately, the transition was much worse than we anticipated. We are not sure if she had a mini-stroke or if the move itself was just too much for her, but her dementia took a significant step down in the course of 4-5 days. She cried a lot the first week, several panic attacks, etc. and sadly, on the 5th day, she lost her vision in her left eye (which we now know is permanent).
Fortunately, after the first 10 days, she started to settle in and within about 2 weeks, she actually started to seem happier than she's been in years. She likes going to breakfast, lunch and dinner with others and she says everyone is really nice. We have brought in 2 of her prior aides to help her with the transition and take the extra burden of daily cleaning, etc. off the assisted living team. They are there 3-4 hours a day. Overall, she's happier than she's been in the last few years.
Unfortunately, the facility has told us that she can't stay there and is forcing a move to their memory care facility on January 16th. They gave us only 30 days' notice. Their memory care facility is very small (only 18 residents), dark and depressing. Mom would move from a nice, sunny one bedroom apartment into a tiny, dark bedroom with a small window and bath. My mother has lost her short-term memory, but she is still very aware of what's going on around her, and to move her to that level of care, especially when she seems to be doing so well, would wreck her. We are very scared of what it would do to her mentally and physically.
We have asked the facility for more time so that we can assess her needs and determine if there's a more optimal living situation for her (e.g., moving her into an apartment with round the clock care next to my brother, or a different memory care facility), but they are not budging. We got an ombudsman involved, who agrees with us 100% that their concerns do not warrant such an immediate move, but she cannot get them to budge. We are getting to the point where we may need to hire an attorney to file an injunction to stop the move - just to buy us some time. We are willing to provide her with 24/7 care in her apartment, if needed, temporarily to address their concerns about safety.
Has anyone been through this before? I welcome any/all advice.