I'd like to ask a question right now and give more details later due to running to do my school assignments (old lady in college).
And speaking of, is it wrong not to have called my grandmother and mom this past week? They are both narcissistic, the first one moderate to "mean" and the 2nd one is full blown but can scale it down at times (not long enough though).
Though they try to hide it, they have their demands of me because they are seniors. None of us live in the same place and I am brimming over with work and school.
My grandmother calls last week to get a spare key from my mother that's lost or misplaced. Wanted me to bring it to her to make copies. While I wouldn't normally mind, I had to choose between deadlines and driving it to her ; though more inconvient to them, I inquired if she could ask a couple of other folks, as the ones mentioned are all retired. Then I tried working other things out like getting her spares made. Plus, made sure she had another lock presently on that door (couldn't recall for sure, was running around at work at the time) so if no one else could get the spare, I could still do my work and get it done and to her another day. Even said maybe she should change the lock altogether, being the key was gone, and I'd help her pay for it. She basically snapped at me that she wished she never asked me. And my mother chimes in (surprise, surprise), when I called her, to just run the key over to her. Ok, I said I was already trying to figure it out, but that wasn't even easy, because I could still miss a deadline. So, I ran it there, hugged her at the door (she didn't hug me back), said I would say no more about it (we also talked earlier that day and I asked why everyone even had spare keys but me who is doing the running, apparently because I have a car; I have always been there for her and my mother, never took anything, only gave to them)? She only would say she's getting a headache, something she never said, yet these sounded like my mother's words! That is what triggered me more, plus my abusive extremely narc sister who would keep saying the three of them only "tolerate" me (she lives out of town, otherwise it would have been her doing it, their golden child). So, now after consistently being there and going from calling every other day, to once a week, I don't want to call at all for a longer time, especially to make sure to just concentrate on school. Is this wrong? Because both are old, had major surgeries within the last year, but live alone and back on their feet as well as can be expected for a couple of seniors.
I just had it up to here with them thinking it's already built in that I'm to do things for them, instead of them seeing why I have done things; because it's out of having a good heart. And I don't deserve my grandmother not trusting me "but so much"it seems, because why not give me spares too, the one running there if something were to happen, as she tried to make me feel bad if something were to happen while the spare wasn't brought to her? She claimed it was okay, she would just ask someone else. But why not in the first place, when she knows my schedule? It's okay to still ask though, but not okay to me to feel "tolerated" and all that nonsense.
So, call now or later?
Thanks for any advice, guys!
P.S. Feeling 😀 when on my own, and too much 😧 when thinking/dealing with them.