First off I have been reading here for sometime, answered or commented but never asked a question...I want to Thank all of You Lovely People ;)

(I'm going to set the stage) Mom is 78 living alone. I have 2 siblings one here and one on the west coast. The sibling here has told me many times she reaps what she sowed...I'll be honest she's a difficult person to deal with and wasn't a good mother. This has been amplified with age possibly undiagnosed Alzheimers and or some sort of dementia related condition.

Several years ago she had a 20 minute memory test and passed with flying colors, so she thinks she's fine. I find out here a true test is an all day test and I don't have the heart to tell her the truth. She knows she forgets things but not just how bad it really is...she thinks we steal and sell her things.

Shes had several strokes, the last one was 4 yrs ago and quite bad. Weeks of therapy and months of convalescing. She also suffers from high blood pressure, COPD and heart-related issues. She refuses to do any exercising of any kind and is winded after few steps...smokes like a freight train.

So three weeks ago she said she was just standing there and fell over, didn't hurt herself or anything just fell over. I thought we should call her Dr. and she refused. Just this last week she fell over again with no rhyme or reason...she wasn't going to tell me but was kinda forced to.

Heres the thing after her last stroke she tried to commit suicide and I can't push but so much for fear she'll try again...remember she is very stubborn and difficult. To her I am pushy, bossy etc.

I don't know what to do...leave her alone? Im afraid of her falling down the stairs or anywhere for that matter. She refuses to wear the alert necklace...

Sorry for the novel...

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My case is similar to yours except I had both parents going down at once. Mom was falling constantly, refused any help the whole nightmare. Dad had dementia, didn’t know if it was Easter or lunchtime.

Long story short, I had to wait until a bad fall, mom went in the hospital then I moved her directly to assisted living after 3 days. And this was against her wishes. She was going to calI the cops, get a lawyer, disinherit me etc. After years of keeping that ship afloat, I said, well bring it mom.....Id had it. I had POA but no letters of incompetence for either of them.

however , it was quite clear to the hospital and AL staff that this lady was not fit to be home and they all worked with me. I moved dad in a few days later.

It was all holy hell for a few weeks but there was no choice.

My story is is very common. I can see you heading down the same road soon. Good luck.
Helpful Answer (1)

If she’s passed any kind of mental test at a Dr.’s office you can’t make her do anything. She has to be ruled incompetent.
My mom would fall several times a week. Then, several times a day. No joking! We even stopped going over to pick her up & made her call the EMT’s in an effort to force her to get in home help. She wore a cordless phone in a pouch so she could call someone, that’s how bad it was. She broke ribs once (didn’t even know till itshowed up on an X-ray for something else, cracked her head open another time and refused ER trip.

If you can’t get her ruled incompetent, there’s really nothing you can do. I was so desperate that I even tried tried to turn my mom in to APS. You have my sympathy!!!
Helpful Answer (1)

1 fall is bad. 2 is a warning sign. A 3rd fall might put her in the hospital where she can have tests run and you can find out why she's falling. Tripping on a rug is an accident. Falling over on 2 separate occasions is a problem.
Helpful Answer (2)

You should get a lot of responses to this. 😊 Believe me you aren't the only one with a parent like this.

Mom has multiple health problems that could cause a fall. With COPD her oxygen levels could be very low. Her heart may not be working full capacity. And smoking would make it all worse. At her age and health problems she should have a full evaluation. Dr. really shouldn't be continuing her meds until he sees her. In my state, its every six months to be able to get refills.

You may just have to wait for something drastic to happen that she needs hospitalization. While she is there ask for a good physical.

If you don't have one, get a pause ox meter. They run $30/40. Test her levels. Here is a chart you can go by.
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